“It’s true. We are terribly lucky. It is also true that we imagined this life before it existed and then we each gave up everything for the one-in-a-million chance that we might be able to build it together. We did not fall into this world we have now, we made it. I’ll tell you this: the braver I am, the luckier I get.”

-Glennon Doyle

I read this today and it struck me in my gut. Her wife and her had this image of what their lives would be. They would have a dock overlooking a bay and at sunset they would each have a mug of hot something and her wife would lean against the piling while her wife leans against her. They would watch the fish jump and the sun set. They would have nowhere else to be but with each other.

I want my own version of that.

I am willing to do whatever I have to do in order to make my version of happy happen. There is no line I won’t toe, no amount of discipline I won’t practice, no temptation I won’t brush aside to have my own moment with my partner last a lifetime.

I’ll be a good wife, but I will also be disciplined and sometimes difficult. I will push a hard edge that will be tiring and require mass amounts of effort…and faith. We will lose a little, win a lot. At the end of the day it’ll be us, us making it happen, our life, our dreams, our happy.

I am going to be the woman who everyone says “she’s so lucky” and I’ll know the truth, like Glennon, the braver I get the luckier I seem to be.

Be brave.

With Love
Ruth

To help support or share in my release, please visit my gofundme at:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-ruth-utnages-reentry-after-prison

Thanks.