I try to keep my posts upbeat and positive. But today I’m hurt. Emotionally I’m hurt. When a man gets saved as a Christian, he gets rid of old behavior, or at least tries. That’s the idea. You try and fail but keep trying because God keeps loving. Amen right?
But in prison, maybe in outside churches too, they give up hating themselves ( good thing, no sarcasm) and replace self hatred with hating me instead. Oh good. I want to go to church. No, let me rephrase that, I want to be welcomed in church. Loved like a brother that I AM. Whether they like it or not I believe in God, specifically Jesus Christ. Apart of my relationship with Christ is to congregate with other believers, stronger brothers then me. Not all are full of condemnation. I still have brothers here. But while they can go to church services without problem, I get infuriated at the doctrines of men there. 
The services here at this prison full of opinion. The LGBT community here had a monumental victory this year, that God was all over. But the “church” has all but waged war on me. They use the cloak of LGBT but I am that face here. 
I love them, sometimes I loathe them too, but in all I love them. They are my brothers and I still believe that one day we will be in paradise together. Despite the fact that they have declared spiritual war on me. 

What in Gods good name do I do? 

With Love
Jeff Utnage