I make my bed. I tuck my shirt in. I only have six pair of socks. I do not use forks. I expose every inch of my naked body after every visit I get. I must be rehabilitated. Right?

Tell me, what do you want prisons to do? What results do you want? Think about it, for God’s sakes, just think about it. What exactly is it you, as the public, actually want prisons to accomplish? Should I learn something? Should I be brutalized? Should I simply shut up and be silenced? Do you want more violence, more Lock Up Raw? Perhaps the prisons should give everyone access to live video feeds so you can see? Subscription service maybe…

I just do not understand what is expected of me. I could really give a shit less what the officers here expect of me, they do not even view us as human. No giving food to your friends, or neighbors, no sharing a cup of coffee with someone who has nothing. If someone is being beat to death or raped my job is to walk away and not intervene. If someone is dying it is illegal for me to administer CPR, even if it is my only friend in the world. All contrary to basic human kindness, all in the name of rehabilitation and YOUR safety.

There are 2.2 million prisoners in this country, right now. This does not include the ones on probation, parole, have been released etc. Millions upon millions upon millions of felons ranging in ages from 10 years old to in excess of 100 years old.

I remain obedient to these ridiculous people not because I am in prison and they are prison guards, not because I respect their disgusting authority, not because I am afraid of them. No, I make my bed, tuck my shirt in, and every other shameful rule I obey because I know it is expected of me, not because I have any delusions it is going to make me healthier. In fact, I know it is doing the opposite. People were not created to be caged.

I will follow the rules, I will keep my humanity to myself until I go home, wherever in the hell that is. I will dream of the day when I can own 7 pairs of socks, when I can help somebody because it is the human thing to do…because I want to.

With Love
Jeff “Jeffebelle”