Women labelled as transgender have a particularly hard road with men. Too often they are seen as sexual fetishes and used. I think that most of them know how to navigate that terrain pretty well though. It is usually fairly obvious if someone is only interested in sex. They tend to move on quickly.

I am concerned about one thing, how do trans women find a man who sees them as women AND treats them fairly? This is a big deal folks because these women are looking for partners in their lives who will openly affirm their women hood. So if a man is willing to acknowledge and caress that, the trans woman is naturally going to respond. No doubt it feels good to have someone see you the way you want them to. It is more frequently seen the transitioning woman who’s physical appearance still doesn’t completely match. It is rare when someone transitions and looks like a supermodel. 

I bring this to light because these women seek men who will love them. But they have to weed through the muck first. I have seen trans women and heard war stories of abusive men who use them and the women stays. Though for much different reasoning then the housewife. The abuser manipulates the trans women’s sense of identity with shattering words and physical assault. To them I want to say this:

It seems obvious that you do not want to be in an abusive relationship. If you find yourself with a man who is emotionally, verbally or physically abusive; GET OUT! I know he calls you by the pronouns you desire and your afraid possibly. “Maybe in time he will change”…you reason. 

Maybe you deserve better. Maybe your fragile and worth more. In fact, you deserve better. You are worth more and fragility isn’t weakness. There are good men out there. Men who have been taught compassion, love and patience. Do not settle for a pig. Hold out. You deserve it!

With Love
Jeff Utnage

Side Note: I love hearing your stories of triumph. Perhaps you have overcome something? Please share!