The devil came to me one day and told me all that I have done. Every life I hurt and every song I’ve sung. He explained why I am worthless, I admit, he sounded right. It got me thinking if I should even fight.

He whispered sweet failures in my ear every day and every night. Told I was unneeded, unnecessary and all kinds of “Un’s!” I listened intently, hanging on every lullaby. He sang to me of death and its beauty in relief. One moment of courage is all I would need, he’d kiss my lips with belief.

I crumbled and I fell. I stayed on my knees. I cried out for help. The devil only laughed. “Nobodies listening, you fool, can’t you tell?!” He circled me every night until dawn, stealing my sleep, that creep!

I cursed at God above, I yelled and I yelled. The devil laughed all the more, telling me God has no dealings with a whore. I raged, giving God the old wherefore. “You cowardly being! Come down here!” but then the devil only laughed some more. 

He took me by the hand and promised me freedom. That old devil from lore. He sat me down and what entered through the door? But my beloved, whom I’d lost several years before. “I miss you! please help!” I reached my hand out and they vanished and this repeated infinity more.

I was right where he wanted, useless and in pain. Watching my failure manifest forevermore. Then something happened, an epiphany from my core. I don’t have to watch anymore. 

I’m sure I’ll be back but next time I’ll be stronger. You don’t get to claim me any longer. Whisper, whisper in my ear your song. Next time I’ll walk away and it won’t take me so long. 

I’m sorry my beloved, I’m doing all I can. I will see you all again, we are, after all mere man. What lies ahead, no one can know. But when the devil comes knocking, its nothing but a show.

By Jeff Utnage