What if none of us were in control? Like nothing you do was actually you at all. For some that might seem scary, not for me. For me it seems natural like one 45 angle buttressing another 45 angle to form this beautiful corner, but neither angle is responsible you see, someone else married them together. I want to be one of those angles.

Or maybe like a grain of sand that rests on the shore of some vast ocean where I can be carried away and explore the world as someone else wants me to see it. Not in control at all but helplessly carried away to whim after whim but instead of impatiently waiting for my life to be mine I enjoy the wonderful places I land.

Or maybe like getting some award on national television but instead of accepting credit simply say I was somebody else’s paintbrush. I want to be that brush. Just once.

Maybe I will be a single cotton fiber in a pair of used jeans or maybe a molecule of color that resides in a masterpiece. Maybe a wavelength of sound that makes its way into someones heart and together we’ll enjoy a peach. Maybe I can be a sapling in the torn up landscape of some recently deforested area in South America. Maybe I can be the 1 or 0 in the binary code that approves someone’s citizenship application.

Maybe that’s heaven, eternally understanding how you precisely fit in.

Yeah, I wouldn’t mind being someone else’s paintbrush for eternity.

With Love
Jeff Jeffebelle Utnage