I have spent so much of my life angry. as I child growing up in the state foster system I was angry about things which I was unable to speak about. I lacked the experience and vocabulary to articulate what I was feeling and why.
The abuses were easy to point to. other things like the inherent hypocrisy of the system were less easy to speak on as a child. I love when I’m reading something and the writer breaks down in perfect words something I had always felt but could not speak on.
Lately in my life I have been spending less time being angry and more time contemplating what I can possibly do to avoid those things which inspire me to wrath. I used to think only in terms of fighting the system. fighting the pigs and politicians. that is childish and unrealistic.
I don’t think that the system is something we can successfully fight, I do however believe in helping others survive the system. guiding, encouraging, and preparing people for success, especially those adversely effected by this system of exploitation and dis empowerment, should be the goal.
Meeting people where they are at, in the visceral experience of their day to day lives is important. I feel that I have been prepared by my experiences of abuse and isolation in the state foster system and the prison industrial complex to relate to others in similar situations and help them to navigate the corridors of despair that so many get lost in once they are claimed by this machine.
I don’t want to just “do my time” or get out and move on with my life. I want to confront this system and help people. I want to defy the lies of the so called corrections department constructively. to dis empower the narratives they spin to the public that no one is better then the worst thing they have ever done or that has been done to them, and that this department is working together for safer communities rather then perpetuating the cycles of crime and the destruction of society. in short. I want to save lives with my every breath. I want to have less and be much.
I think that people and the lives they live are full of so much wisdom and potential for creative solutions to the problems we all face every day. we just don’t believe in ourselves. we often have been taught not to.
But we are all awesome in our own ways and if we realize this and come together we can create a lot of really cool and beautiful alternatives to anger and violence.
by James Cody Goodwin. #764730. M.C.C. T.R.U. D-A-201-2