The isolation prison provides is like being shot outside a hospital emergency room where nobody will help you. But you cannot move, so you just lay there and watch, hoping. Upsides? I do not know, until this morning.

I want to help people in a meaningful way so my life was not wasted, so that the few people who do contact me will not be made to feel foolish for doing so.

As I go through the throes of depression and isolation anxiety I have to find reason for it all, purpose. This last bout lasted four days, and it is not quite done, I am still upset. 326 million people in this country and I do not have one friend I can call, really…not one?

Here’s the upside. When I get through this, and I will, I will be uniquely prepared to help others through this process. Sort of, ‘talk them off the ledge’ kind of thing. That way when someone is feeling like there ain’t a soul who cares if they live or die, I will. Because I do care. Because nobody should ever feel the way I feel right now, it does not matter what I have done.

I will be positioned perfectly to help others.

With Love
Jeff “Jeffebelle”