I watched the season premiere of “Finding Prince Charming” on VH1 last night. Robert, the bachelor, is this incredibly hot guy with this rockin’ body and this sort of winning in life attitude. He’s gorgeous and makes me want to think about gay porn. But the first thing I think instead, in real life, is “I ate too many carbs last night and my face feels bloated and chubby, when are we working out again, have you seen his abs?”. 

I became self-conscious immediately and this unrealistic expectation set in of perfection. Which is a micro stressor.
A micro stressor is this annoyance that you deal with regularly. One at a time is not so bad but start getting four or five and watch yourself get cranky really fast. For girls they get cramps, and then hormones shift a little and before you know it they become hostile or easily agitated. Its not just a girl thing either, its an everybody thing. 

Your children will learn to deal with stressful things from you. If you silence them by becoming the angriest one in the room, guess what, they have learned a really effective tool: intimidation gains control. Oops…

As people we must unlearn some things. Dealing with the day to day pressures of life must be done by all. Some people were taught really good techniques for behavioral management and staying calm in stressful situations. Some were not or have to work harder then everyone else because of naturally caused differences in our temperaments and chemical make ups. 

If you are struggling with managing stress, meaning, if you are stressed out a lot, its time to reevaluate your methods. Start with the micro stressors. Tackle them first. A clean house is important, clean work areas, clean environments. Walking into clutter and mayhem is always going to sit in the back of your mind as a stress. Eating healthy, even if all you do is start by adjusting one little thing, you creating movement and gaining control over the situation. This instills confidence then you are able to fix the problem easily whereas before your brain is telling you that your unable to control your habits. Lights, having lights on while you sleep, I don’t mean night lights, I mean bright lights before bed. If you turn off the brightness an hour before you want to get to bed, it let’s your body know its time to rest. It begins an adjustment period as opposed to go, go, go..sleep. Unhealthy rest will lead to unhealthy days.

Gaining control in these small things will reinstate your confidence to face the big challenges. Mainly because your eliminating the small stresses of everyday living. Or our gay to gay lives. (had to say it again!). 

Hey people, I love ya! We are all in this together and we all need to constantly be focusing on what we can be doing differently for improvement in ourselves. No one else takes an interest in us if we don’t. 

With Love
Jeff Utnage