I have talked about labels before and how they are really only important for finding like individuals for peer support. Like someone who is asexual would generally be more comfortable and open with other asexuals. But I experience another problem with labels all the time.

I consider myself to be Gender Queer or Gender Variant or Gender Fluid. I like my male genitalia and believe it was meant to be there, I don’t agree that I am all male though. I display many feminine characteristics to myself and outwardly. Here is a prime example of my dilemma…

I decided to let my hair grow out because I think I would look better with long hair. Well, in the process I have discovered that I have bangs. So I rock them, until I can do something else with them. Well, its drawn some attention both negative and positive. Mainly its put me in a box with people who don’t know me. They assume I’m confused about my gender and my whole identity. Which isn’t true, I know exactly who and what I am. The truth is they’re confused about me. I’m not living up to their label that they believe I should be wearing based on my hairstyle. They assume that because I wear bangs that I want to be a girl. Nope, just like the bangs better then a crew cut and my confidence goes up when I switch my hips. Still very much attached to my dingaling and have zero gumption to change that. 

Truthfully, I don’t know that a label can completely define me. The best one is Gender Queer. Sometimes I look at my chest and feel that breasts should be there. Other times im thankful there not because of the amount of running I do and the fact that I would have to fight horny people off with a stick in here. But it doesn’t change that I feel I should have them, not because I’m a girl, but because I seem to be missing them as the man that I am. Or rather as the Gender Variant that I am.

Don’t be defined. 

Be you

With Love
Jeff Utnage…indefinable