My horoscope told me that this was an exciting time for me. That I should really focus on facing my fears and watch my life seriously change.

I could be critical and point out the vagueness of it. I could remind myself that it was in a weekly TV Guide. Those are options. You know what else is an option? Trying it.

Why not work on facing some fears? Living a life with less fear sounds liberating to me and if I allowed the advice of a TV Guide Horoscope to inspire me…who cares?

Inspiration can come from anywhere we allow our imagination to play. Gratitude comes from taking the time to be thankful. Thanks weekly TV Guide Horoscope, I’ll take it.

For the next week I’m going to focus on facing my fears. My internal fears are coming up first. Fear of rejection. Failure. That I’m not “enough of a woman”.

You know, I’ve had a fear that cis women will reject me.

Fear that I’m too ‘big boned’, not skinny enough, that I’m going to blow up.

Fear of dating. Getting too close to a man. Fear of being hurt.

Fearing judgment if I say I want to have sex. Lol. Can you imagine? A woman who wants to have sex…as if it’s an odd thing. Why is that a fear of mine anyway. Piss on that.

I like to think what would Glennon Doyle or my therapist tell me in moments like these? They’d tell me “Ruth, you’re not crazy, you’re a goddamned cheetah!”

Damn right I am.


I am an unruly, bold, and determined WOMAN who has a serious sense of exactly what and who she is and I don’t give a goddamn what anyone thinks about it. I’m a bit wild and possibly untameable and I am about to be unleashed on the order of things…

Now watch it reorder itself around me.

Watch out fears, you might just be in trouble.

To help support or share in my release, please visit my gofundme created by some unusually wonderful folx in the community at:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-ruth-utnages-reentry-after-prison

Thanks.

With Love
Ruth