I got to see my first play, my first professionally done play, that is. It was about making a decision about your life, choosing heaven over allowing hell. 

The opening scene was the most touching for me. Music begins to play and a woman in a sparkly outfit, like an angel outfit, comes out and begins to do a contemporary dance. I have never seen one in real life, only on TV. She told a story with movement and what was most touching was that she was boldly standing in front of 300 inmates and smiled broadly while she moved. 

I don’t remember the music, I was captivated by the performance and only remember not wanting it to end. When she exited the stage all 300 heads turned to watch her leave. 

As a gay man I thought the stigma was true. That gays like performing arts, whereas straight men more likely don’t. But this wasn’t the case. 

There were many moments where I got emotional, almost shouted for it to stop because it was to hard to watch. At one point there were demons beating one of the main characters, all I could hear was his screams while he layed on the stage and acted out the scene. The demonic characters were laughing and continued to torment him while he screamed. 

A scene I know all to well. It was hard to watch because I have seen violence similar. Where a single man was screaming for help and men stood around beating him and tormenting him until they were subdued. All the while laughing at his pain. Then I watched as their friends reenacted the scene on the yard…I also felt a connection to that scene because there was a point in my life where I felt like that. Helpless and screaming for help but there was no help. It was hard to watch…

This performance reminded me of why I do what I do now. I have a set of values that I compromised at one point in my life. Values I won’t compromise again. I have a message and a purpose that I am fulfilling and that is to end victimization.
People hear me say that and they laugh, mocking me. But I don’t care. I have seen enough violence, I have felt enough, done enough. I hate it, I hate it when people are victimized and I know that I can prevent so much of it. 

I need your help though, I need people just like you to help me. We are going to make a difference in this world. 

With Love
Jeff Utnage