As someone who is constantly engaged in talks involving highly opinionated people both for and against TGNC people and their “rights” I get a very unconformable helicoptered view of what people really think. I don’t correct, immediately or angrily, hateful speech and I allow people to talk to me about their frustrated views on LGBT and TGNC people because if I know their actual opinion I can actually begin to change it. But, if I’m becoming angry and defensive it only furthers the divide. So I get to hear all the hate speech that revolves around our community. Here is my suggestions to those that feel the heat either as supporters or as community members in or out of prison:
1) Speak up, if someone misidentifies your gender, correct them. If they become irate, remain calm but firm. If they insult you, leave, you don’t have to listen
2) Be calm, your identity is yours. People hate what they don’t understand. Their opinion is theirs, not yours and it is narrow and, quite frankly, dying. Know this, they may hate you but their kind is will die, and their disgust with them.
3) Know you an evolved being. Gods, aliens, shaman etc all were marked as evolved in our lore and generally their sex was either both or unidentifiable, marking evolutionary standards mean sexual identity is increasingly unimportant and a representation of higher existence. (we’ll talk more about this in another post)
4) Immediately following your incident, seek support. Either write about it, call a friend, talk to a coworker. Don’t bottle.
5) Tell people how you feel. When your being confronted with someones negative opinion or actions, calmly and directly, say “Your hurting me” make them see their actions face to face. Often this disarms them. If it doesn’t, stand your ground, make them witness the affects of their hatred face to face. Your face will haunt them for the rest of their life. Their guilt will consume them. People generally do not know how to handle emotion.
6) Be patient. many times people will come back to a point of sincere acceptance if the person, us, is willing to guide them with patience and love
7) If all else fails and none of this works and someone is just plain mean…well, then, know this as you walk elsewhere, their kind is dying. They are a devolved species and like all under-evolved or devolved species, natural selection kills them. Those that hate are dying and their opinions with them. Smile and walk away knowing their fate is already determined.