I watched a video in college that a professor brought in of Will Smith giving this motivational talk ( I don’t remember the name of the video, sorry!! ). In it he says “you have to love yourself enough to tell yourself no”.

I’ve repeated that as a mantra in my head. Tough decisions for our long-term best interests are not easy to make. It’s easy to go high and hard to tell yourself no. It’s easy for me to gorge myself at night and easy for me to skip the gym but hard for me to say no to unhealthy food and my own laziness. It’s easy to let your anger run amok and your temper flare and hard to check yourself enough to say “No, we’re not doing this again”.

I’ve been practicing this for a few years now. I’m about to be candid here, so be aware. As a woman in a men’s prison the pressure and temptation for sex is extreme. All day everyday, nonstop. Sometimes that constant is too much and to be quite frank, sometimes I am just as attracted to someone as they are to me. It isn’t that hard to find a way to be physical. As a woman I have to see men with their shirts off, and believe me…some of these men are chiseled like Greek statues of perfection. Add to that their flirtatiousness and doting attention, it gets really difficult to say “no”.

But I do. I do every day and have for years instead choosing to focus on my long-term best interests. If they are “the one”, they’ll be there when I get out too.

It’s eating more fruit and less sugar. It’s going to bed at a decent hour. It’s doing the things today your tomorrow self will thank you for. And to be even further candid, it’s not all that tough. It’s not hard to love yourself, at all. It’s much harder to be our own enabler than it is our own loving, responsible parent.

Be kind to yourself.

With Love
Ruth