Ya know… I have been out of prison for a little over a year now and I am realizing I have got commitment issues. No, I’m not talking about relationship commitments. I’m talking about committing to accomplishing what I truly want in life. I know I want to go back to school and open my own business, but for some reason I never take that next step.

Maybe it is because I am back in that comfortability stage. You know, that stage where life is going fairly well. That stage where you look around and say “wow, this is the best my life has ever been”. But why am I stopping here? Why am I not continuing to push forward?

I am realizing, I guess, that it is partly due to the fear. The fear of failure. The fear of going backwards from where I am at now. The fear of trying new and unfamiliar things. And then there is the fear of disappointment. I have a lot of fears when it comes to life exploration. I get in these ruts where I know I am “safe”. I know the job I currently have has treated me VERY well, but I also know there is more for me out there. I don’t want to stop here.

So where can I find the motivation to excel past my current state? How do I get to the 6+ figure I am looking for in life? How do I climb out of these ruts I find myself traveling in? I think I am gonna try to use my future wife as motivation. She has already motivated me to lose weight. So I think I will use her again for this area in my life. See, Ruth has been one whom has taken the world by the horns and has shown it what a real boss looks like. THAT is where I want to be. THAT is the kind of courage I want to have. And I know deep down, somewhere in the deeper recesses of my mind, I have ALL of that. I just need to stop being afraid of the question marks and turn them into exclamation marks. I think I will start with getting back into school for some kind of business transfer degree. From there the sky is the limit. Wish me luck.