Coming to peace with life is the hardest thing I think I have ever done personally. Years ago I took a poison because reconciling with death was a more attractive, and easier, option then reconciling with life. Clearly, I survived the ordeal and have come out on the other side a better man than I was before, I think anyway.

Sometimes when we get caught up in our misery it gets very hard to imagine life after the pain. But it does exist. I have lived through terrible pain, misguided misery sent me into a place that I will never go willingly again. I never want to feel that low again. Today, its hard to imagine ever going back, mainly because once I reconciled with life, suddenly I became empowered by this newfound knowledge that life can be great, no matter where you are, no matter what you’ve done. It’s never too late.

Life can be this fantastic voyage of fulfillment that you never saw coming, or it can be this drastically dismal array of pain. It really is your choice, but you must choose to WANT life. Believe me, life wants you. 

If you feel alone, if you feel like you are at the end of your rope, like nothing is going to get better, reach out to someone! Reach out to me, I am in prison and I have never been happier, I promise I can at least be a genuine friend…

With Love
Jeff Utnage