Sometimes in long battles it becomes necessary to take a few strategic shots so you can setup to overtake the opponent. A good fictional example of this is in the movie 300 when the Spartan king, as a child, backs into a narrow crevice to lure his opponent into a more disadvantaged position. The whole time he feigned weakness, like he was an easy target, only to kill the vicious creature. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m engaged in a long battle and I think it’s time to drop my hands and take a few strategic blows while I catch my breath.

I release in 44 days. My whole sentence I’ve been told to square away education and employment priority number one. So I did. I programmed like a beast over the last 10 years preparing to show a stellar record for how I’ve spent my time. I wanted my CCO after release to see that I was responsible, that I can be trusted. I’ve been told that I’m going to be a shining example of what CCO’s in the community look for. But then I was told that I can’t go to college, even though I’ve already enrolled and have secured funding. I can’t work, even though I was set to start my job the week after I get out. I can’t even email, even though in prison I can email.

The whole situation is more than frustrating, it’s made me quite scared. I was thinking the only worries I had were a panic attack when I grocery shop for the first time and car sickness. But now I have to wrap my head around the serious disconnect between DOC in prison and DOC in the community because they are in direct contradiction to one another.

Just when I was feeling defeated my girlfriend, ever so kindly, reminds me that sometimes in battles you have to drop your hands and appear to be defeated long enough to lure your opponent into a less advantageous position, to think about the long term strategy. That taking a few blows is far superior to defeat. First, I swelled with pride at her wisdom and ability to communicate. Second, I knew she was right.

What are your battles and when do you have to be a little more strategic?

With Love
Ruth