One guy is at a public urinal, he’s obviously using it. His buddy walks up with a bowl of oatmeal. Why is anybody’s guess. He stands there, granted there was a stall divider, and begins razzing him about him conversating while urinating.
I just happen to be using the urinal next to the guy being razzed. I began to laugh because no homosexual reference has been made, yet. I know its coming though. He leans on the stall divider while his friend, who has now pinched things off, begins to warn him “you better not!”. Now I wasn’t looking, not even peripherally, but the panic in his voice was enough to tell me his buddy was trying to feed him oatmeal while he was peeing. 
While extremely funny to me, the unpointed reference to homosexuality was implied: this is what gays do. The the guy attempting to urinate just says it “stop being such a fag bro!”. Then he looked at me and rolls his eyes. A moment later he continued his endeavor. 
I went to wash my hands and the whole thing was just flat out peculiar. That whole show was done for two reasons that I know of. One, to make his buddy laugh and two, because inside they had some idea that this is what gays do…feed each other oatmeal while they pee’d??? What in the heck gave them that idea?
There was no logic in the joke, while I admit his friend becoming uncomfortable with the threat of oatmeal on one side and the possibility of the raging fag on his right seeing his junk (as if!!!!!), was funny. It got me thinking why are gays associated with ridiculous things? Like feeding oatmeal to each other on the pot? Who does that? That’s just one example of what I’m talking about. Why am I the butt of that joke and should I be offended? In short, I’m not because I found humor in it. But, in that last sentence holds the key. Were they joking around to come to terms with me? Perhaps the guy peeing had made a comment beforehand about having to use the urinal next to a gay guy. When it happened, maybe this was a display, a sort of peacocking to relax the nervousness? I am not sure. But I wonder how many jokes should we as LGBT allow to make others comfortable. After all, the very mention of gay in some homes strikes fear in the inhabitants. Why, I don’t know. I’m as harmless as a field mouse now that I’m out. I hate violence and honestly I would much rather let someone think they are right or superior before I would get physical. I take privacy seriously and have no desire to invade anyone’s personal bubble now or ever. In fact, I assume everyone is straight until I know better because when they’re straight there off the market and I never even consider them a sexual partner. I could care less about them sexually.

Do they believe that though? No! So, I guess let them joke, but I don’t understand it completely. I won’t tell them it confuses me but it makes me uncomfortable to know that I am being used.

Just a thought.

With Love
Jeff Utnage

P.S. Whatever you do, do it in love.