Can you rehabilitate someone who committed a sex offense? Once a murderer, always a murderer? Let me ask you this, is it also once a victim always a victim? What about being a cheater? Once a cheat, always a cheat? Let’s say you did drugs as a young adult, once a drug user, always a drug user? One more, just to fully illuminate my point. What if you were mean to people in school? Does that mean you are always mean?

I know plenty of girls who were royal b*****s in high school but grew up to be amazing people. I’ve met bullies who reformed. Adults who spent years on drugs who turned their lives around and plenty of people who have been victimized who are definitely nobody’s victim. I’ve met men and women who’ve cheated, a lot, who are the most loyal husbands and wives now.

And, yeah, I’ve met hundreds of people who have committed a sex offense or murder and have made serious, serious changes in their lives.

Change is hard work. Especially cognitive (thinking) change. Changing the way you think is possible, have you ever changed your mind? Yeah…you need new information, new things have to go into the mind and old things have to be inspected, openly. Then, then change can happen. But it isn’t easy. It takes humility and patient guidance, a safe space to ruminate on the past and the future.

New synapses are possible, it’s called neuroplasticity, Google it.

Not everyone is willing to put in the work to become new people. But I don’t hang out with losers or lazy people anymore. I don’t allow people who live in the past to remain in my sphere because they’re pathetic and lost, angry at the world for not handing them success and comfort on a platter.

People are more than welcome to live in their self-righteousness, this is a free country. But not me. I choose love and happiness and the freedom to reinvent myself as much as I need to in order to finally become the success story I know I already am.

With Love
Ruth Utnage

Subscribe, Follow, Interact, Comment and change YOUR community

Mail To:
Jeff aka Ruth Utnage 823469 D-610-2
P.O. Box 888
Monroe, WA 98272

or email through
DOC: 823469
Name: Utnage, Jeff (though I am legally Ruth)

Visit us on Facebook at