When your shy and tend to stick to yourself it is harder to make friends. Mainly because socializing is awkward and uncomfortable.

On the other end of the spectrum you can socialize with hundreds of people and still feel like you have no one to truly talk to. I will be giving my advice on both because so many LGBT people have these types of problems.

In order to meet new people you have to take risks. You don’t have to meet someone and immediately dump your life story. Its as simple as hello. Then move on. Here’s the thing with people, we are emotional and hard wired to seek things that make us feel good. Our brains do it automatically. When someone smiles genuinely and says hello, we instinctively look for more of that. So say hello and smile warmly. Do it to as many people as you can. It gives the perception that you are outgoing and easy to approach. So people will naturally begin to seek out your genuine nature. 

For those that are surrounded by people but have no one to truly talk to, this is a heart problem. In order to begin a trusting relationship you must first trust! That means that you have to open up and show emotions. For guys this is hard and often times the only emotion on display is anger. However, we instinctively comfort sadness in others, do we not? Or grief. We tend to want to fix things because we are unequipped to deal with some emotions based on “masculinity” or “machismo”. But if you have ever had a really good friend then you know you have been vulnerable to them. You have weathered emotions together that are hard, like fear, sadness, hurt etc. 

Open up to others. As you see you have plenty of acquaintances, but the way to make friends is to give them what you seek. You may run into a few people who take advantage of this or do not respond in kind, its them and not you. Its NOT everyone, just a few. So keep trying. You’ll find that in no time you will have some legitimate people in your life that know exactly who you are inside and will do everything possible to cultivate success and love within you. 

Be kind to one another, say hello and be warm!

With Love
Jeff Utnage