I had to give a presentation today that I have been waiting for months to get off my plate. On one hand I have my passion which is helping other people and high social interaction, on the other hand I have reality. Where I have to work and be responsible for things I don’t necessarily want to be responsible for. Like work…
So this morning I reflected on what is happening in my life. I got up at 4 a.m. and instead of wasting the day in bed, I got up, made a cup of instant coffee and just began my day. I showed up to my presentation in clothes that were wet with sweat, rinse water and food splatter from food prep. My mind still frazzled from my interaction with my coworkers who are understandably upset with my continual absences. Even though I do my share of the work and most of there’s just to make up for my other duties outside of work. They wanted a commitment from me, either work or my programs. Something had to give.
Honestly my mind drifts at moments like these because I want to be involved as much as possible in the programs I’m in. When I release from prison its these programs that will ensure my success because they are demanding and challenge my inner self continuously, for the better. Its these programs like The Redemption Project that has breathed life into my humanity, programs that God uses to purge out my faults and replace that space with organized duty. A duty to my fellow person to love and help. 
So I went and like any dedicated person I presented my dilemma to those around me. Then I had fun. I laughed and delivered my presentation with my fellow Redemption Project Mentors and we did great. We joked, we accomplished a monumental task together and that sense of “I did the right thing by coming here” took over.
Then, I went back to work and did my best. I cleaned more then anyone, I served most of our customers after I prepared 90% of their food before I left and then I was promptly told not to come back for a week. 
You’d think this was a bad thing. But its the best thing for the moment. I finally get a chance to enjoy some sunshine, work out or just plain be lazy. This week off is God sent and appreciated. I get to focus entirely on the things that I love. People. 
I was singing Fergies new song M.I.L.F. $ and we tried to figure out the names of all the spice girls and debated over what constitutes a boy band. My coworkers said they didn’t listen to boy bands because they’re gangsters. So I pointed out groups like Boys 2 Men, 112 and Bone Thugs N’ Harmony. Now, they didn’t agree that Bone Thugs was a boy band like NSync or Backstreet Boys but I disagree. 
The point was, life went on. We have a choice to be overwhelmed and helpless. Just enjoy the ride, its going to work out. Whatever you do, do it in love and its going to be fabulous.

With Love
Jeff Utnage