As a white male who is gay I still get haunted by my upbringing in the “good ole boy” farms of Nebraska. Though it wasn’t the area, it was the men in my life who forcefully declared “if it ain’t white it ain’t right,” and you don’t want to know what they said about gays. 

So here I am an adult with three mixed raced children, who are stunningly gorgeous. My ex wife is Alaskan native and black. The women in my family were all to supporting and the few men were fairly quiet. Mainly because they were glad mostly that I wasn’t “one of those fairies in Seattle.” LOL! Guess the cats out of the bag now huh? Sorry, not sorry.

I find it interesting that among the gay community, that I interact with, mix race love is generally an avoided subject. I find it interesting that if I tell my peers I would definitely date a black man, their reaction is unusually silent.

The truth is my first willing experience was with a black man. He was gorgeous. I could have washed my clothes on his abs. My only hang-up is not liking men who are “thug” or “gangsters,” regardless of color, sorry Beiber, that means you cutie. He wasn’t like that. He was sweet, attentive and had all the right…curves. (only problem was he was a touch clingy…that’s a no no dear) 

I found myself in a position where I secretly admired men of all colors, so long as the mental, verbal, and personality lined up to be someone who was non-intimidating and non-threatening, I’m good to go. Physical attraction comes in all colors and levels of swagger. Not everyone feels that way. Reading an article in this months Advocate (Sexual Racism and Reckoning with Robert Mapplethorpe by Charles Stephens, The Advocate 50th anniversary issue) was a reminder that racism hasn’t died just because were gay.

My personal taste extends to the more feminine side of every male. I am a sucker for nice guys who aren’t afraid to be emotional, soft, feminine even. It also extends to anyone who is just plain nice. 

I like nice…its the best looking part on any guy.

With Love
Jeff Utnage