” Are you gay?” I am asked this often in here. my usual response is “absolutely”. this answer usually provokes surprise. I guess ” fags” are not supposed to look like me, be as strong as me, or as whatever other ignorant perception the common supremacist poseur has inflicted on me.
those who know me well know that I identify as pan sexual. I love who I love and what they are shaped like or equipped with is of tertiary importance at best, however, I’m not going to explain this to the average scumbag on the yard. most of them consider anyone who is not “straight” to be gay anyway and are only looking for an opportunity to judge and shun. I owe them no explanation and if the quick answer in the affirmative will remove their existence from my awareness swiftly and permanently than yes, I’m gay dude, kick rocks. go inflict your shallow selves on each other and leave me and mine in peace. we are busy. we are changing our lives, the world and the hearts in one another. we are fostering hope among the ashes we made of previous opportunities.
That’s just how I feel today. I wish I could heal everyone as I heal myself.
I found a love for math recently. at a young age I was taught to believe I was stupid and math and me would never be friends. I now know that nothing we wish to do is impossible, only unfamiliar. so I enrolled in a small business college course here and I decided to make math a hobby. so that what once seemed impossible to me would become as natural as breathing. I took my first math quiz and I missed one of thirty five. the artist in me has become fascinated with the coupling of math and art and my mind is full of color and equations coming together to make my soul swell in response to beauty.
I know some of you are poets. have you heard of a type of poem called a Fib? it is a Fibonacci poem. a poem in which the number of syllables in each line is determined by the Fibonacci sequence. the Fibonacci sequence is the familiar progression 1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21,34,55,… that begins with two 1s and thereafter each term is the sum of the previous two. here is an example of a Fib I wrote.
lights reflected in
a child’s black eyed gaze
Far too old for one much too young.
once twisted hands
dance beauty back to life
mixing hope and light in rhythms of transcendence
within this trance I find that Fibonacci and I share a heart beat.
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James Cody Goodwin
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