Being the math guy in a prison is an interesting experience. It’s hard at times! Every other week, I’m faced with the task of fending off hordes of rabid institutionally challenged folk, all competing with one another to get me to calculate their store orders! What they fail to realize is the calculator actually works the same way for them as it does me. Unfortunately I have not yet found the formula that cures math anxiety.. I do have an idea, but for brevity, the proof shall be omitted. My point is this I do not like calculating long strings of numbers for no apparent benefit to me or my own studies. The Rain Man does that. …or Good Will Hunting.. the count from Sesame Street.. Contrary to popular belief, running a calculator is not mathematics! Thus and thus, I leave you with a scientific fact. Degrees are the herpes of mathematics, and so calculators have been proven to carry sexigesimally transmitted diseases. For this reason I must regrettably decline any and all requests for tallying up future store orders. My deepest regrets..


PS. I hope this decision does not impose on your football game, for as I know that without them, surely we’d all be lost.

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Christopher Havens # 349034
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