I do a lot of writing.. Bunches of pouring through mathematical journals for research in mathematics… The chairs we have are very hard, and so I sit in my bed and work at night. Because it has been scientifically proven that eating at night just before bed is awesome, I tend to do dinner in my bed, on the upper bunk. …cereal, bran bars, muffins… basically anything consumable within reach. Today, corn flakes. And from yesterday, bad gas. But my mattress is such that so long as my butt is pointing at the mattress, it gets trapped inside, almost never being noticed by my celly. The caveat is that when you lay down, your head is where your butt was, and it’s just not so cool. …Anyway, today I planted some gas into my mattress as I pigged out. Food was falling everywhere. corn flakes covering complex function analysis and the theorem of Lagrange.. Math has priority. So naturally, (and I know you do it too) I felt a cornflake under my thigh.. and I ate it. No thinking.. it was multi tasking.. clean the bed, eat a corn flake. …it apparently had been gassed to many times. Next time I’ll have to smell the corn flake.

…Bad Corn Flake

By Christopher Havens































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