I thumbed through an almanac the other day. I found all kinds of facts, like LGB people (no stats on trans people) make up 2% of the U.S. population as of 2013. Actually it was 5,234,000 people over the age of 18 who admitted to a government official that they were lesbian, gay, or bisexual. So our real number is probably right around 8%, that is just my opinion though.

Among the other facts I found was life expectancy. If you were born in the 80’s or 70’s you life expectancy is 70 years, statistically. (if you were born in 2013 your life expectancy is 81 years, btw) 
This got me thinking. I am 35 now. That means I have spent half of my expected life already. I am in prison, no money, fighting for an education, three children who are scattering like wheat husks in the wind, and I am just now dreaming.

I am not going to waste the next 35. Have you reached that point in your life where you actually realize your mortality. We ARE going to perish. How did you spend your life? 

Did you spend it hating? Intolerant? How about stressed out? Unhappy? Did you ever want to belly flop on a swimming pool of Jell-O? Never did though? 

We have so many sensory experiences that we want but don’t do. I am not going to waste another year I don’t have to.

My idea of happiness is knowing that I made a difference, left a footprint to be followed. I know I have hurt people, I know that I am somebody’s idea of a bad person, but I don’t have to live like it. I do not have to stay that way. So I won’t. I decided a long time ago I was going to leave this place a changed man, so I will.

What will you do with your next 35?

With Love
Jeff Utnage