Human Me

Coronavirus? I’d Rather Have a Scotch By Ryan Erker

Coronavirus? I’d Rather Have a Scotch By Ryan Erker Its been a while since I have made a blog post. I apologize immensely. I promise it is not due to a lack of interest. I have been quite busy staying one step ahead of the daily nonsense that is prison life. I keep a fairly …

Alpha Sissy and the Failed New Years Resolution By Ryan Erker

I am quite confident that I have set the record for the worlds fastest New Years Resolution breakage. The reason for this is twofold. First of all, my resolution was absurd, and second I was not that committed to it in the first place. What was my resolution? Well, my resolution was to be nice …

Ghosts of Memories Past By Ryan Erker

Last evening (December 26th) I had a dream. One could argue that it was an Ebenezer Scrooge type episode, however due to the tardiness of missing Christmas I am not sure if this would qualify. I am now sitting in the day room trying to make sense of what is arguably the weirdest experience of …

Loud Announcements and Other Loathsome Things By Ryan Erker

Prison is about as bothersome as a paper cut doused in lemon juice. Not completely painful but has just enough sting to be completely annoying. A perfect example of what I am complaining about is the loudspeaker mounted in the ceiling outside my cell door. It has to be turned up to “11” (for all …

17 Minutes 21 Seconds of Hell By Ryan Erker

I woke up around 2:30 this morning with a splitting headache and a sour stomach. What did I do? I ate an orange and popped a MegaMax vitamin hoping against hope I would feel better when my alarm went off at 5:30. What did I wake up to? I woke up to a splitting headache …

Paper Swans and Other Items By Ryan Erker

I have obtained a book about Origami techniques. This book is supposedly a “How To” for beginners of this art form. That is if one defines a “beginner” as someone who has a PhD in engineering. It became quite evident that I do not, nor will I ever obtain a PhD in engineering. The book …

My Frisbee Injury By Ryan Erker

The following is a true story. It is quite embarrassing for me, but I feel I am amongst friends so I can share this evidence that I have gotten old. This tale is fully documented by medical records, incident reports, and evidenced by a golf ball sized lump sticking out of my shoulder two and …

Great People In Prison By Ryan Erker

It may be a bit strange to hear from an inmate about some of the positive daily interactions that can be had from the perspective of a convict with the right kind of mindset. I can assure you I do not have Stockholm Syndrome.Sadly one of our greatest sources of encouragement has left the building …

Holy Astrology Batman By Ryan Erker

The other day my buddy pulled out a book on Astrology. It had all of the calculations that one needs to see if you A) had the time and proclivity to go through all the math, B) the knowledge to decipher the craziness, and C) see A.Since my schedule is fairly open at the moment …