The one common factor in all my attempts at outreach is me. Which means I have the deficiency, no problem, I can address problems within me, in fact, I strive to root out internal problems. I have to know what that problem is because I was looking, and hard, but unable to spot the precise problem. I heard some see me as stuck up, too perfect, a real leader, closed off, too smart, highly intelligent and prudish. And what I considered was being slightly dumber, inarticulate, loose, and talkative. Maybe that will net me community support, but I just can’t bring myself to do it.
But then I realize my problem is vulnerability. I keep myself well-protected emotionally and closed off. Talking about my past is not an issue unless you want me to talk about my experiences pre-marriage, that’s always been an off-limits subject. Being vulnerable about my childhood and my thoughts and experiences as an adult…let’s try something new.
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Jeff aka Ruth Utnage 823469 D-610-2
P.O. Box 888
Monroe, WA 98272
or email through jpay.com
Name: Utnage, Jeff (though I am legally Ruth)
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