I have decided that I want to be a historian of homosexuality. I want to know all things LGBTQAI. I want to know about ancient civilizations and the modern Stonewall riots. I want to know all about them and everything in between. I think that it would be fun to just completely immerse myself in a sea of LGBT.

In order to do that I need books. Books and first hand experiences from people. I want to know about all the symbols and what they mean. Why did they get chosen, why the rainbow? Why those 6 colors? How many symbols represent us, and why have they changed?

I want peoples stories and their experiences. I want to know how and when people came out and why then. Why at that moment? What was going on? How did it feel?

When I came out I had originally done it thinking that it was an act of defeat. I could think of being gay, but never voice it. If I just never admitted it and only had fantasies about it I thought that I wasn’t really gay, not really. I was still straight as long as I didn’t admit it. So when I did finally speak the words I was expecting the world to end and lightning to come out of the sky and just strike me dead on my bunk. Instead I got liberated.

I felt more relief in that moment then any other moment in life. Didn’t even compare to my first orgasm, my first trophy, my first “A+” my first paycheck or any other first in my life. So what other stories are out there? What’s yours.

I want to hear them because I am raptured by that joy. I believe that God has given us all the ability to be happy with ourselves right here and right now. I want to hear about you coming to that point. I find more beauty with hearing about people being liberated then in almost anything else. I love our people.

I want to finish what was started in the 60’s. Where the Stonewall riots and following sit-ins ended, I want to find out exactly where we are right now and finish the process or fighting for equality. I want to spend the rest of my life fighting for it. There is still many fights left, many more battles to win. for instance, did you know that you can still be fired in 28 states for simply being a homosexual? This is 2015! You can be fired for being genetically different…amazing.

There is nothing wrong with us, there is nothing to be ashamed of. There is nothing to hide from anymore. Let’s face this place. I do it in here everyday. Everyday I get persecuted for my sexuality. But I do it, I do it because I HAVE to. Option “b” doesnt exist for me. Quite frankly, it doesn’t for any of you either, does it?

When is inequality acceptable? When is hate ok?

If there is anything you can do to send me literature or to find out how to get books to me, write me

Jeff Utnage