I only have 100 lines of space that I can send out of this machine at a time. Space restrictions won’t allow all the homosexual confessions I have been hoarding through the years. I will say that just yesterday I had three new men come out to me. Each one feeling a burden lift and whispering their insides to me. I listen to each of them as if it was the first time I had heard such a thing. Now we have this common thread that ties us together. Nothing binds like a secret.
It used to make me uncomfortable when someone came out to me. More like, I knew that they were about to hit on me. That part still frustrates me, but its no longer an insult. I was never the guy that took being hit on well, not as a teen or any other time. It never complimented me but offered embarrassment instead.
However, it happens daily now. This has given me an opportunity to come to terms with my sexuality and others. I am able to compartmentalize much better now and guide these confessing men into a much healthier state of mind. Because I don’t think many of them are gay. I believe the majority of them would hump a pillow with a hole in it if given the chance and thoroughly enjoy it. But, I don’t insult them. I let them offer their spiels, instructing them on what not to say. Like don’t tell me I have a fat ass and then slap something jiggly like a pound of butter and expect me to jump for joy at the idea.
Men will keep hitting on me and I’ll keep coming to terms with it. Doing my best to keep them at an arms length while still being able to help the ones that are really gay.
Jeff Utnage 823469