Relationship Building: First Impressions
My philosophy on this is a simple one. Whenever we meet someone new, in fact, even when we see someone new, we build a mental file on them. Then, based on that information we proceed forth. With that as my starting point its up to me to build on that file. Give them things to add.
Our first impressions are important because if the very first thing you give a person is a negative characteristic then its going to be very difficult to gain him/her as an ally. After all, they now know one thing about you and its negative.
Knowing that we have to build the correct file in someone else about us we know that its solely up to us. That individual may interpret differently then others, but we have to remember that if they developed a feeling or emotion in relation to us in any way, then its 100% correct. They feel it, not you. Something in them pushed that and its up to you to respond positively to that.
Someone may not like you based off of one single interaction. Well, now its time to start file building.
1) Keep you interactions short and upbeat. Simple Hellos and Good Mornings. That way its little to process and its only positive.
2) Remember body language. Your stance could be saying everything. Open arms, open heart. Closed arms, closed heart. Clenched fists are obviously a no no. Look at yourself in the mirror, take a selfie and evaluate if necessary.
3) Think positive and genuine. If you are thinking negative things and attempting to have a positive outcome, though it may be possible its unlikely.
4). Be genuine. Be real. Don’t lie at all. Be calculating and honest. Your good enough, you don’t need to falsify anything
5) Know what you want out of the relationship. Friends, boss, lover, mentor etc.
6) Be you! You are a good person and your interesting and good enough!
7) Just because you don’t get the response your looking for immediately, don’t stop building your file in them. Keep every interaction genuine and pleasant. Make it easy to be around you. Be vulnerable and open.
Jeff Utnage 823469