“You guys better not flush, I gotta check and make sure you guys are drinking enough water.” the man said in a serious tone “Every pisser better be clear.”
I just sat in the corner waiting for some snarky response from the line of men all urinating, every porcelain receptor was being utilized. From my spot, a sit down toilet without stall doors- because somehow me peeing without privacy in a men’s room makes the community a safer place, I could see that a few guys were shaking their heads in disgust or disbelief. It wasn’t until I started belly laughing, because I couldn’t help it, that the line of guys started laughing too.
Of course, this only riled the jokester up even more as he pretended to look over the divider at one of his fellow urination compatriots. “You better not be foolin’ around, I gotta watch you,” he continued stone faced “I need to see this live.”
The bathroom erupted in laughter again with a slew of “You’re crazy bro” and “only in prison”.
I thought to myself, I wish I could talk about all the weird stuff men do in prison bathrooms that I’ve witnessed over the years…I can’t write about all of them, but I can write about this one.
Maybe I’ll tell you about the time a bunch of guys talked about bleaching, ahem…you know…the brown-eye, and then proceeded to compare shades- publicly no less- after using whitening toothpaste. Not the first time I’ve been asked to judge a…contest…of this sort. lol
To contact me you must be a humanist…
“A real humanist can be identified more by his trust in the people, which engages him in their struggle, then by a thousand actions in their favor without that trust.” (“Pedagogy of the Oppressed” by Paulo Freire )