Saturday, March 6, 2021

The Secret Keeper and The Coward by Ruth Utnage

I've been a coward before. Fear gripping me, rooting me to silence and bound in the branches of social acceptance. I've looked the other way while someone was wrongfully ridiculed and played dead while I was assaulted instead of fighting back- my body frozen.

I've been a secret keeper as well. I hold secrets today. Not my own, I'm an open book by choice, but that's my choice. Others secrets, that's what I hold, because that's their choice. Sometimes, I am their secret. While I will hold their secret I won't respect them as a person, I see them as cowards.

The biggest mistake I've made in life was not coming to terms with who I am out of fear. That led me into some dark territory eventually and I know it was a majority part because as soon as I came out as gay, then gender non-conforming, and finally transgendered I was able to see my life with clarity...finally, a weight was lifted.

When someone tells me in secret they find me attractive, which happens ALOT folx, I am first flattered. However, when that leads to "don't let the homies know", well...while I will respect the sanctity of choice I will not respect a coward.

Support my release through my gofundme at this shortened link:

bit.ly/gofundruth

With Love
Ruth 



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