Friday, September 18, 2020

Engaged To My Future by Ruth Utnage

First and foremost a big thanks to the artist Billie Eilish for creating the song "My Future" as it is inspirational to me and inspired the thought train in this article.

I take my future very seriously. Some might say too seriously but I would argue that had I taken my future seriously 20 years ago I wouldn't be in prison today as a divorcee with 3 children that had to go find new parents before the age of ten. If you think I'm being too harsh on myself ask me about my life before prison and what it was I did to get into prison and earn a life sentence.

But here I am having learned a valuable lesson about hope, perseverance, and myself. None of which came easy or free. I have stayed steady focused on my future for years now. I have thought about it like this. Success may be part dedication and part luck but I can increase my chances of good luck with good dedication. Kind of like entering earth from outer space, you have limited options to enter so you have to be positioned just right else you'll burn up trying. So I orbit in a holding pattern watching successful entries and repositioning myself so that when my chance comes, I'm ready.

That means I have to sacrifice a few things along the way, like lusting after lovers or engaging in drama. I despise distraction and sometimes that makes me seem like a total b***h and to be honest I don't really mind that image. I can be a total b***h, especially when I'm trying to go somewhere and someone gets in my way to try and get me to do something I don't want to do or isn't on my path.

Why would I travel theirs instead? What's wrong with mine? I know where I'm going to end up.

So I, too, am in love with my future. I can't wait to meet her and see what sort of life she lives.

Here's to our futures.

With Love
Ruth Utnage
(For interviews or media inquiries please contact me directly!)

Ruth Utnage fka jeff 823469 C-510-2
MCC-TRU
PO Box 888
Monroe, WA. 98272

or via Jpay email service (you have to use my birth name, but, please do not call me by it, my new legal name is Ruth)

Jeff Utnage
823469



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