Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Removing Statues and Monuments That Depict White Supremacy, Glorify Racism, and Promote Segregation by Ruth Utnage

I've heard a lot about removing statues and monuments and renaming government and civil buildings to no longer monumentalize and glorify figures that represent things like slavery, the confederacy, white supremacy, and other destructive moments of our history.

I just wanted to say that I support their removal wholeheartedly and believe it's a long time coming.

HumanMe.org fully supports and condones the removal of racist and segregationist propaganda now and always whether the propaganda or figure is in the name of history or unintentionally offensive, we feel that saying "This is not okay to monumentalize and glorify" when it comes to racism and segregationalism is the right thing to do. Period.

Furthermore, it is my personal opinion that the label "cancel culture" is a bullying tactic that is also just as offensive and should also not be tolerated as it is being used to under-handedly and tacitly defend racism, white supremacy, and segregationist attitudes and propaganda.

In their places I think monuments and statues depicting figures who fought against those beliefs should be put up and in 100 years let our descendants choose what was right to do.

Have a nice day.

With Love
Ruth Utnage
(For interviews or media inquiries please contact me directly!)

Ruth Utnage fka jeff 823469 C-510-2
MCC-TRU
PO Box 888
Monroe, WA. 98272

or via Jpay email service (you have to use my birth name, but, please do not call me by it, my new legal name is Ruth)

Jeff Utnage
823469



Tuesday, September 29, 2020

Creating Fun by Marshall Byers

Lately everything from the pandemic to politics, and now the west coast being on fire has been a total buzz kill. What the heck! Look, I need a reprieve form this negative crud. I took a page out of Rob Derdak's book.Yeah, Rob Derdak makes his own luck, so I'm making my own fun. I powered up the iPod, selected "Deserie" by The Charts.

With my prison issue button up shirt held to my chest, one sleeve flopped over my shoulder and the other in my hand, I started the Waltz. I'm getting good at this two step dance in your average bathroom space. I'll be ready for the ladies next summer.

With Love,
Marshall Byers

P.S. For a good laugh, please listen to this song, and if you're brave enough try it yourself. I dare ya to have a little fun.



Monday, September 28, 2020

Coming Back From Emotional Instability by Ruth Utnage

We go through emotional disruptions/imbalances/instability. It is part of most people's lives and as we get hit with intense situations that there is no play book for, figuring out how to cope with these new things is difficult at best.

One of my best friends getting out of prison recently and her and her husband mer someone from my past, the victim in my case. At the same time this college student began asking really intense questions about my crime via email and being kinda shady and shadowy about the whole thing. Also happening my cellmate gets suddenly moved and as a trans woman that can be scary because finding a safe person to live with can be a serious challenge. I had a lot going on, really intense and unexpected stuff.

Part of what led me to prison is not being able to cope with my emotions, like at all. Whenever someone would evoke strong reactions from me I simply disconnected from them, got away and never looked back. So I walked away from basically everyone, always. My "go to" still to this day is to ice over and cut ties, something I am currently receiving a lot of help to combat and taking very seriously because I don't want to be alone. So I faced these things as best as I knew how, I went to one of my therapists with it in a group therapy setting after trying to cope with everything on my own unsuccessfully. In my mind, when you need help, you ask for it which is something else I am not used to doing for emotional support. So I did.

I don't feel better about being vulnerable, this particular therapist is a challenge to talk to for me for a multitude of reasons but the main one is they only look for the bad in you, not the good. They don't recognize when you do something right, its only criticize and correct behavior all the time. But I don't have much choice except to quite a critical program that would mean me not getting out of prison. So I faced my fear of this person, spoke about the problem and when it was all over I had a knot in my stomach that almost made me puke but I walked away knowing that I did the right thing, even when it wasn't easy and that sometimes you don't need help because the people that are supposed to help don't always have the answers for problems in life. Sometimes intensity happens and all we can do is do our best to reach out to our loved ones and ask for support.

When we have that knot in the pit of our stomachs and our minds are piecing together information that doesn't belong and we have racing thoughts and it feels like our lives are spiraling out of control, what do we do to recover? The answer can be so much simpler than we think, as I discovered, just stop. That's right, just stop, breathe and look inward. Stick to your routine, don't give anything up or start anything new. Talk about what your feeling with someone trusted, even if you don't know what you feel is, like in my situation I felt such a range of emotions I didn't know which ones were prominent, so I spoke about them all, several times to several friends (aren't support people wonderful! Thank you!!).

Understand that it may feel like you're emotionally unstable, but the reality is you might not be. If you're anything like me you're pretty normal emotionally but have very real situations that have presented very real intensity. Nobody is "prepared" for those times. Sometimes all we can do is hang on for the chemical dump in our brains. I went for a run, drank water, slept good, avoided people I knew would require my energy, wrote this piece, talked to friends, stewed about revealing a weakness to my therapist and at the end of all...I'm okay.

We got this, we're okay. Look at us, we're standing. Alive and breathing, no catastrophe occurred, everyone's okay. I'm going home in 13 months, you're going to go on to live as wonderful a life as you're willing to work for and with a little bit of luck and smart positioning, it may even be better than you ever expected.

How do you bounce back? You expect it. Begin by telling yourself it's possible, then expect it.

With Love
Ruth Utnage
(For interviews or media inquiries please contact me directly!)


Ruth Utnage fka jeff 823469 C-510-2
MCC-TRU
PO Box 888
Monroe, WA. 98272

or via Jpay email service (you have to use my birth name, but, please do not call me by it, my new legal name is Ruth)

Jeff Utnage
823469



Sunday, September 27, 2020

Faulty Protections... by Rory Andes

In the last couple of weeks I've seen a wide variety of commercials geared at face covering and "protections" aimed at mitigating the impact of the COVID-19 virus. Some of that impact involves safety, some comfort, some usability. The items range from cotton, to infused fabrics, to ones with filters, ones with layers, one with face shields that flip down, ones with face shields that flip up and every one of them have their own infomercial... all of them.

Yet, not all of them seem to conform to the CDC guidance on protections. At all... How can they do that? Why invest the money and time into something that not only doesn't work, but could carry potential dangers? It's like selling mesh condoms because the fit is better. Putting a plastic neck collar on with a flip up, clear shield may be more comfy, but it leave all kinds of air and space all over the head. Sneeze into it and now you might be temporarily blinded, also... Nothing about this seems safe at all. It seems to me that if safety is priority, selling placebo products should stop. It goes to show how ripe the fear market is during a pandemic. ZShield, you should be ashamed of yourself (among others)...

by Rory Andes

Is bad protection actually protection?

Email at Jpay.com using Rory Andes 367649

Or by Mail:
Rory Andes 367649
MCC-TRU
PO Box 888
Monroe, WA 98272



Saturday, September 26, 2020

Hot Cocoa Rabbit Holes by Ruth Utnage

Chocolate in liquid form. Hot cocoa. When you're a little moody and want to watch the world burn like a flame throwing Godzilla, what do you do? Drink a steamy mug of hot cocoa and suddenly the world is just a little sweeter and instead of rampaging through the streets of the city knocking whole buildings over and beating your chest like a giant snarf snarf Gorilla, we give hugs.

There's just one problem. hot cocoa KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT! Not to mention it gives me wild dreams. The other night I dreamt I grew a paintbrush out of the roof of my mouth and when I went to pluck it I almost bled out. Neato. Then the next night I dreamt I raged out on this little old southern gay dude I work with in prison laundry. Lol. Oops. I felt so bad when I woke up that I avoided eye contact for hours with him at work. Yikes.

The only thing I love more than cocoa is my mornings. I love mornings and I cannot enjoy my morning if I slept like hell for the fourth night in a row and spent the day a hormonal bitch folding sheets at work with such an attitude that people were beginning to wonder if the sheets stole something from me. But no, it was just me drinking cocoa at night. I love sheets.

Last night, no cocoa and I slept wonderfully. I've been up since 4:29 a.m. and I feel great about it.

Sorry hot cocoa, we have to break up, no more late night rabbit holes for us.

With Love
Ruth Utnage
(For interviews or media inquiries please contact me directly!)


Ruth Utnage fka jeff 823469 C-510-2
MCC-TRU
PO Box 888
Monroe, WA. 98272

or via Jpay email service (you have to use my birth name, but, please do not call me by it, my new legal name is Ruth)

Jeff Utnage
823469



Friday, September 25, 2020

Buried Alive by Marshall Byers

Today I sat on my little concrete floor reflecting back over the 5,044 days I've survived being buried alive in a prison cell. The most beautiful thing, metaphorically speaking, is my super human mutation. It's a strange reversal. What I mean to say is, I was not living my best life above ground. I was a cast member on the Walking Dead, and although I was only ten when Michael Jacksons Thriller video came out, I was the one howling at the moon.

I hate to use wine as an example, but I need it to prove my point. Look, it takes a great deal of time and energy to produce a fine wine, right ladies? It's no different with character. With all the best scientists, and gardening tools, including a rototiller, I've mutated into The Interstate Puff Marshmallow man. Please tell me you've all seen the original Ghostbusters! I only use this depiction to describe my transformation. I get a second chance at life, a resurrection if you will, beginning July 5th, 2021.

Figuratively speaking, if you were to spend a few hours at any graveyard knocking on random tombstone's, you would never hear "heavens to betsy, gee whillikers, just leave me down here". Think about it, if you got a second chance at life, would you not be overjoyed and beaming with excitement! Wooooooooh-Hooooooooow!

Bursting with happiness,
Marshall-Heck-Yeah-Byers



Thursday, September 24, 2020

Eat, Sleep and Breathe by Ruth Utnage

"I could never be a professional dancer, those people eat, sleep, and breathe dance" she said, her eyes wincing into a slit before looking down at the table between us.

"Oh yeah?" I just couldn't stop the next words from coming out, they were reflexive "What do you eat, sleep and breathe?" I watched in some delight as she squirmed in her chair and for the briefest of moments I thought she was going to lunge at me. Instead she sat and for the first time since I met her she was truly thinking. I found the information I needed as a mentor, which is the things she doesn't already know, the missing pieces to herself. I stared directly into her eyes and pinned her with my gaze, impressed that she didn't break.

"I don't understand how to answer that." She replied finally, sinking back into her chair and picking up an old issue of Elle Magazine. She turned to a random page and held it up to me in display and said "this, I understand" pointing to horoscopes from April, 7 months ago when Elle was still printing magazines, before COVID.

Those simple words that I practically slingshot back at someone got me thinking about other people in my life. The people in my life must eat, sleep and breathe something? Most of them I know how some goal, but only a few "eat, sleep, and breathe" anything.

I eat, sleep, and breathe criminology and helping people change their lives from criminal behavior and I have a special place in my heart for LGBT people, but I will mentor anyone, with love.

My friend Christopher eats, sleeps, and breathes mathematics.

I can think of 1 or 2 more, but when I think of people who make it into something big, they started out by "I eat, sleep, breathe...." whatever it is they're known for. Major success doesn't happen by accident.

I guess I'd like to challenge you to take a moment and think about what you eat, sleep, and breathe. Because if you don't have an answer for that...well, perhaps you should.

With Love
Ruth Utnage
(For interviews or media inquiries please contact me directly!)

Ruth Utnage fka jeff 823469 C-510-2
MCC-TRU
PO Box 888
Monroe, WA. 98272

or via Jpay email service (you have to use my birth name, but, please do not call me by it, my new legal name is Ruth)

Jeff Utnage
823469



Wednesday, September 23, 2020

About Race Relations... by Rory Andes

A free world friend let me in on how some tense conversations about America's race relations turn brutally ugly on social media very quickly. It saddens me, because in the quest for candid discussions, it should stay objective and informative. Not personal to the degree that the discussion turns ugly... I promise you that vile diatribes about race in the town square (or social media) aren't part of the American Dream. A wise mother once said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." But saying stuff isn't nearly as important as listening...

In my travels through prison, I have seen the most unlikeliest of friendships build between people who had taken allegiance to destroy the other at some point in their lives. Prison gangs have been founded on this misguided hatred of other races, but it damn sure doesn't have to be the way things are. It changes in here, too! Now, if people in prison, the perception of the "worst of the worst", can see eye to eye and forgive and embrace differences, Joe Public needs to follow suit. Wise up and treat your neighbor the way you want to be treated... and start listening to what needs are expressed when someone is explaining a cultural difference.

by Rory Andes

Get shown-up by inmates who care about race relations. I dare you.

Email at Jpay.com using Rory Andes 367649

Or by Mail:
Rory Andes 367649
MCC-TRU
PO Box 888
Monroe, WA 98272