Sunday, August 16, 2020

 A Better Mind...   by    Rory Andes


Recently, I had gone through a bought of deep depression that, at first observation, was associated with PTSD and I hit the wall. I had written "Grief Overlooked..." about what was happening in my mind and the help I sought to combat the pain of my own unbridled traumas. As the therapy has continued over the last couple of months, I'm starting to make real headway in how I see the world. I remember the dreams in my sleep now. I haven't done that with routine since 2003 or so. Today, I have the most brutal of dreams consistently, however, this is a good thing because I can wake up (after eight very solid hours) and recover from them. Then repackage them. The specific subject of each dream reshapes the next time I dream it into something else more manageable. Target up, target down... dream by dream. And my energy is growing. Every session with the psychologist comes with meaning and direction.

The real kicker was the psychiatrist they also have me see. She provided the smallest of silver bullets... a simple blood pressure pill that handles the cortisol my trauma-riddled mind produces. With it, I sleep. And not the away a typical prison medication zombie sleeps. This isn't a psych med, so there is no lasting hangover or grogginess or any of the other things I said I didn't want. I just sleep very solid and dream wildly as my brain defragments the shittiest parts of my adult life. But I had been warned about the potential to pass out from lower BP and going to the restroom in the middle of the night is an absolute adventure. But hey, I'll take it. I'll take every hopeful, capable minute I get from a better mind...

by Rory Andes

I'm amazed by the simple solutions. If you need help, get it...

Email at Jpay.com using Rory Andes 367649

Or by Mail:
Rory Andes 367649
MCC-TRU
PO Box 888
Monroe, WA 98272


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