I have been contemplating requesting a transfer from a men's prison to a women's prison. Of course, most people tell me I'm being foolish for multitudes of reasons. Mostly I hear this:
"They'll never let you transfer without surgery and they'll never provide surgery"
"Women will eat you alive, they'll hate you"
"It will be worse for you there than here"
"You'd be at risk for rape, you have something they want"
"It is too much of a culture shock"
"Why go now, you only have 17 months left"
All things I have heard recently and if I'm being honest, things I've said to myself. It is risky. It may be. But then I won't hear any of this:
"I ain't calling you Miss, this is a men's prison"
"There ain't no women here, this is a men's prison"
"This is a men's prison"
"You have to use the men's room with all the other men"
"No you can't have a hair clip"
"No you can't have a support bra"
"No you can't have emery boards, hair dryer, curling iron, eye lash curler, or bobby pins because those aren't available at men's prisons, only women's"
"No you can't have women's socks, only women get those"
"We don't have dance programs at mens prisons"
I could go on and on with these...but I'm sure you get the idea. I'm tired of being reminded of everything people think I'm not. Going to a women's prison may just be a terrible idea but I am at just as much risk here in a men's prison, I mean, I have boobs in a men's prison and I AM A FEMALE! I get hit on 50-60 times a day, I don't even know who is my real friend and who's just waiting to hit on me hoping I break weak for sex anymore and to be honest ya'll, your girl is tired.
I'm already at risk, I have people here who hate that I exist and some who hate that I am allowed to exist. Some hate me for my charges or race or religion or speaking ability or confidence or community support or HumanMe, and yeah, because I'm a woman. I will get that everywhere but at least at a women's prison I can take care of my hair better, I can get a support bra without some clothing guy "sizing me up" for "need". I can curl my lashes or hair and do my nails, all the things I cannot do here and you know what I won't hear, "This is a men's prison, sir". I won't hear that. I may be hated by every woman there and every cop may despise me, I may even be assaulted there, but at least I can feel pretty while it happens. Besides, I got community support, I got you.
Just thinking...strategizing. I don't know.
Feel free to contact me, a little human contact is always welcome
Ruth Utnage fka jeff 823469 C-601-2
PO Box 888
Monroe, WA. 98272
or via Jpay email service (you have to use my birth name, but, please do not call me by it, my new legal name is Ruth)