Friday, May 29, 2020

My Favorite Prison Food Recipe     by    Ruth

First of all, I love this question and thank you for asking! Before I get to the actual recipe I have a quick funny story about the importance of food in prison, a lesson I learned when I first fell.

I used to work in a prison food factory and we had a multi-person restroom. It had a few stand up stalls and a few sit down, more private stalls. We'll get back to the relevance of bathroom stalls in a moment. At the food factory we prepared meals for the prisons in bulk and dealt with food we did not get as prisoners as well, like roast beef and cake. As an FYI, if you tell someone they have life in prison, or hell, even a decade, and then take away roast beef and cake from their life completely- as in, you ain't never gonna get it again and you can't even buy it, they are gonna steal that stuff and ain't no consequence heavy enough.

K, back to my story. So I was working a line, packaging some nonsense or another and went to the restroom because sometimes nature calls. Actually, I had snuck so much cake that my insides were ready to become...outsides. Anyway, I went to the bathroom. I waited my turn for the stall and proceeded to, ahem, utilize the sit down potty like, well, a lady who had to go ya'll! So there I am flushing nonstop, 'cause that's what prisoners do, we flush nonstop until we're finished to eliminate odor, just unleashing the beast of burden and I hear this knock on the stall wall, "Hey! You want some of this?"

Not a phrase you want to hear in a men's bathroom in prison...

Then, to my relief, I see a gloved hand appear under the stall wall and its holding a glove stuffed full of roast beef and shredded cheese.

Lesson here is this: In prison you might be unleashing a holy demon into a toilet while your sweating from sugar overload all while the guy next to you might just be having the meal of a life time. lol. only in prison.

Okay, my favorite prison recipe:

Quiche! I love making and eating homemade Quiche.

I use:

1 tube of saltines
1.5 packs of powdered eggs
1 pack of shelf stable Bacon (capitalized 'cause it deserves it)
1 bar of provolone cheese

I crush the saltines into powder and redough it into a buttery crust and microwave until firm. Then I melt the cheese and use it as the liquid for the eggs, adding water as necessary. I chop the Bacon into pieces and pour the egg mixture into my crust, microwave for about 45 second intervals until only a little liquid remains, then I stir in my Bacon, finish cooking for another 2 minutes or so and then let cool.

oh, then I eat like a piglet, no shame in this girls game! I usually get through like one third before I have to go give it to someone cute, *wink*.

With Love
Ruth Utnage

Feel free to contact me, a little human contact is always welcome

jeff aka Ruth Utnage 823469 C-601-2
MCC-TRU
PO Box 888
Monroe, WA. 98272


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