Friday, May 15, 2020

Ego Check    by    Ruth Utnage

Sometimes I have the opportunity to practice hard things, like checking my ego. First, understanding that ego exists is important and healthy. Ego helps feed our self-esteem and when kept to a healthy standard is an accelerant to confidence. Ego can be unhealthy though. Like most things, it's on a spectrum. So when did I have to check mine from being unhealthy?

I've been making masks for weeks now. Virtually nonstop and I do it proudly. I like that I'm working a lot. I like that I'm exhausted and nursing an aching back and not eating right...it's all very...normal. I feel like a human being again. Now that they've been issued to people I get to see that work in action, that feels good too. What didn't feel good is knowing that when I was gone the skeleton crew got their picture taken.

I don't know where its going, who's going to see it, why it was taken...but I wanted to be part of it. Ego check time.

It only bothered me because I see others about to get recognition for a big team effort that I am being left out of for whatever reason. But why am I making masks? Is it for recognition or is it because it was the right thing to do? Ego check...

I love moments like these because it let's me know that despite my many flaws I can stop and think, a skill that must be practiced. These guys that had their photo taken, they've been working hard and if it was legal for me to list them here in this article, I would. But I am not allowed. I am very proud to be part of this team and love that they get the time to shine, because they deserve it.

Ego checked...

With Love
Ruth Utnage

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"A real humanist can be identified more by his trust in the people, which engages him in their struggle, then by a thousand actions in their favor without that trust." ("Pedagogy of the Oppressed" by Paulo Freire )

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