At a time like this, what do I do? So many people suffering and so many dying. The world is slowly shutting down and we must endure this mess if we shall live. This pandemic is serious, but all I can think about those in control telling me that my release date is compromised and there is a 99% chance I'm not getting out of here within the next two and a half weeks. My first reaction anger, second confused, third sad about what I have to tell my children. Two weeks ago my son specifically asked me are you joking about getting out and tricking me, or are you really coming home? Of course I said, "I'm coming home son." I told my other son I would be home before he turns fifteen. He now knows that's in jeopardy. I hate being a liar, and I am turning into that in my children's eyes, which my youngest son made clear to me without mincing his words.
I've made statements to my children while in this place that have turned out to be untrue, whether my fault or not. The point is that my children look at me as the one who told them the lie, but I can't do anything about that but look forward and try to make the future pleasant. So as I look at this whole situation, all I know to do is reflect on my own saying and that is "everything happens the way it's supposed to happen." I will be released when it's time. One of the most difficult things I've had to deal with in my life. Most will never experience or understand what this feels like and how truly difficult it is. I am at the conclusion of 131 month sentence and now I don't know when I will be released. Life in a nutshell. IT happens. I am looking forward to what this brings forth. There is surely something on the other side of this for me, but make no mistake about it I am still pissed about the whole situation.
My name means what it means:
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