Every Single Day, by Devin McCrary
Wake up, roll over, stretch.
Probably groan a bit.
Take my pulse.
Brush my teeth, wash my face.
Consult my to-do list.
Visualize my day.
Decide to change my life.
I've added only one thing to my morning routine since my arrest, but it is the most important--It is changing my life.
Although I can point to a single day--perhaps even a single hour--when I decided to change the way I live my life, I firmly believe that that decision means nothing--absolutely, precisely nothing--unless I continue to make the same decision every single day.
Human beings are creatures of habit, and no matter my somewhat lofty opinion of myself and my desire to be a remarkable human being, I still have to accept and work within my quintessential human qualities.
This means I am fallible. This means I sometimes make poor decisions--sometimes catastrophically so. This means I am subject to impulses and desires and, most of all, my own imperfect history.
This also means I am capable of learning and growth and change. Of love and connection and compassion.
This means that if I recognize the necessity of changing my most fundamental flawed habits and thought patterns, and work to change them, I can affect every aspect of my life.
Because only by looking inward and finding the flaws--large and small--and working to fix them can I establish a deeper foundation. And only by establishing a deeper, firmer foundation can I build myself up to new heights and keep reaching higher.
So every day I wake up and decide to change my life.
There have been days when I procrastinate. A lot of them. There are days when I put aside homework because I am frustrated or distracted or simply restless. There have been days when I skip a run to watch something on TV--more than I really want to admit (though amusingly it's usually to watch running on). There have been days when I eat everything in sight and lie in bed all day feeling sorry for myself.
But yesterday's failure will not become today's failure, because I am capable of change. I am capable of doing better, just as you are.
In twenty-one months I will get out and be a part of the community again. I don't know for sure yet where I'll go when I'm out--as soon as I get my Judgment and Sentence modified so that it's not unlawful I will have no restrictions and will be able to go anywhere--but I will be a part of the community, and I don't want to let anyone down again. I don't want to disappoint anyone or hurt anyone.
So every single day, I wake up and decide to change my life.
Those words have meaning to me. They have become a mantra of sorts. Every single day.
Because every step in the journey is important. Is vital. Will have lasting, potentially life-altering implications.
Because I am not done--what I've done so far is not enough, cannot be enough. I will never wake up having achieved everything I want. I will never wake up with nothing left to give.
I will never wake up to a perfect world--a world I cannot continue to contribute to.
But that's okay, as long as I do what I can.
That's fantastic, actually, because it means I will always be able to find fulfillment. To find a way to empower others to be fully-functional, self-actualized human beings. To watch those I love and cry over broken hearts, laugh over bad jokes, and love over mended bridges.
Because that's what I'm all about: love and connection and those essential human emotions.
So every day I wake up and decide to change my life.
Every single day.
With love, Devin McCrary
Visit us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ExperienceHumanme/
Wake up, roll over, stretch.
Probably groan a bit.
Take my pulse.
Brush my teeth, wash my face.
Consult my to-do list.
Visualize my day.
Decide to change my life.
I've added only one thing to my morning routine since my arrest, but it is the most important--It is changing my life.
Although I can point to a single day--perhaps even a single hour--when I decided to change the way I live my life, I firmly believe that that decision means nothing--absolutely, precisely nothing--unless I continue to make the same decision every single day.
Human beings are creatures of habit, and no matter my somewhat lofty opinion of myself and my desire to be a remarkable human being, I still have to accept and work within my quintessential human qualities.
This means I am fallible. This means I sometimes make poor decisions--sometimes catastrophically so. This means I am subject to impulses and desires and, most of all, my own imperfect history.
This also means I am capable of learning and growth and change. Of love and connection and compassion.
This means that if I recognize the necessity of changing my most fundamental flawed habits and thought patterns, and work to change them, I can affect every aspect of my life.
Because only by looking inward and finding the flaws--large and small--and working to fix them can I establish a deeper foundation. And only by establishing a deeper, firmer foundation can I build myself up to new heights and keep reaching higher.
So every day I wake up and decide to change my life.
There have been days when I procrastinate. A lot of them. There are days when I put aside homework because I am frustrated or distracted or simply restless. There have been days when I skip a run to watch something on TV--more than I really want to admit (though amusingly it's usually to watch running on). There have been days when I eat everything in sight and lie in bed all day feeling sorry for myself.
But yesterday's failure will not become today's failure, because I am capable of change. I am capable of doing better, just as you are.
In twenty-one months I will get out and be a part of the community again. I don't know for sure yet where I'll go when I'm out--as soon as I get my Judgment and Sentence modified so that it's not unlawful I will have no restrictions and will be able to go anywhere--but I will be a part of the community, and I don't want to let anyone down again. I don't want to disappoint anyone or hurt anyone.
So every single day, I wake up and decide to change my life.
Those words have meaning to me. They have become a mantra of sorts. Every single day.
Because every step in the journey is important. Is vital. Will have lasting, potentially life-altering implications.
Because I am not done--what I've done so far is not enough, cannot be enough. I will never wake up having achieved everything I want. I will never wake up with nothing left to give.
I will never wake up to a perfect world--a world I cannot continue to contribute to.
But that's okay, as long as I do what I can.
That's fantastic, actually, because it means I will always be able to find fulfillment. To find a way to empower others to be fully-functional, self-actualized human beings. To watch those I love and cry over broken hearts, laugh over bad jokes, and love over mended bridges.
Because that's what I'm all about: love and connection and those essential human emotions.
So every day I wake up and decide to change my life.
Every single day.
With love, Devin McCrary
Visit us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ExperienceHumanme/
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please leave comments or suggestions so we can continue to interact with you. All comments will be monitored and responded to. We love your interactions with us.