Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Men Are Weird, Communal Bathroom Rant by Ruth Utnage

Recently I was finally allowed to get a job where I do inmate laundry, super fun stuff. Well, all of us workers have to use a communal bathroom at set times of the day. Besides being completely inappropriate that a woman urinates in the same bathroom at the same time as men, in a prison no less, I have found men peeing together a rather odd event.

They have these strange rules they abide by. First, they grab hold of their junk and hold their breath, I guess peeing upright is sometimes a harrowing experience...poor dears, then they talk to one another. Mind you, their..ahem...units are firmly in their palms while they look to their right and left making eye contact with other men also holding their... ahem...you know, thingy thangs, and conversing like a gaggle of giggling girls.

I have found, however, that when one sits to conduct their business, eye contact and conversation is forbidden. Also, what's up with guys taking their shirts off to poop? Its weird. Let's go over the key takeaways, shall we?

Rule One: you can only talk to other men in the restroom if you are holding your tiny wee-man. Then, eye contact and normal (ha, normal) conversation and even heartfelt talks are encouraged.

Rule Two: Rule One gets completely negated when going number two...

Men are weirdo's...

My cellie says this makes me a prude, what do you think?

With Love
Ruth Utnage

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