Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Guilty Changes by Christopher Havens

I've had two close friends come out as trans now, and it's always really difficult to adopt their new names and gender, especially after knowing them so long as men. When Jeff transitioned into Ruth, It wasn't so bad, because I had only known Ruth for the length of her stay at this prison. I began using her preferred pronoun immediately, and although I had slip ups, I think I adapted to her changes quite well. Still, I feel very guilty after accidentally saying "he" instead of "she". 

Now, another of my friends came out as trans. Marshal, who likes being called Breanne, or Brianne, or something like that. Brianne Byers has a nice ring to it. I was very surprised, because she came out at the PRIDE 2019 event. I actually didn't see this one coming. Everyone thought he said that he was coming out as an ally, but he (now she) was speaking in past tense. I spoke to her about it afterwards, and she said she was scared to say it in such an outright way in front of so many people. I always thought Marshal to be a ladies man. Now it seems that she will be a ladies woman! :-)

Anyway, today, she already experienced me calling her Marshal about 15 times. I referred to her as him, and I feel like crap because of it. I've known her for some years now, and it's always a rough transition as a friend as well. I'm very supportive of however my friends identify, even if it's a little tricky to get the pronouns right at first. I hope her the best, and hope that she feels better from all the negativity that was directed towards her from the right wing crowd earlier today. Heck Yeah Brianne!! We all love you

Christopher

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Christopher Havens # 349034
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