Friday, June 28, 2019

Prison Spa Day by Ruth Utnage

For 2 months I've been holding a really tense body while I planned our 3rd annual Pride event. The stress was immense as I had to navigate the bureaucracy of a prison, hold the hands of several new speakers (look, your girl isn't gonna be in prison forever and other folks need a chance to shine, and best believe they did!), and delegate tasks to a crew of dedicated people.

As the event happened and my body relaxed I began to get sore. My whole body ached and my ankles puffed up (go ahead and tell me I'm not a woman...lol). That day I didn't eat until after 8pm then went to sleep thinking how nice it would be to have a spa day to decompress. Since I can't go to a real spa, here's my plan to have a prison spa day, tell me what you think:

First, I'm going to heat up a towel, get that hot towel service. (Where you put a hot towel, I do not know, I've never been to the spa..lol)

Second, I have two packets of grape jelly that if I leave them on the floor long enough will get super cold, I can put those over my eyes like cucumber slices.

Third, I'll mix mint toothpaste and Vaseline to make a beauty mask, the toothpaste will provide that much sought after tingle and really open up the pores.

Fourth, I can clean my toilet really good and soak my nails in it while I relax!

Prison spa day...lol.

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With Love
Jeff aka Ruth Utnage

Mail To:
Jeff aka Ruth Utnage 823469 D-610-2
MCC-TRU
P.O. Box 888
Monroe, WA 98272

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DOC: 823469
Name: Utnage, Jeff (though I am legally Ruth) 

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