Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Believing In The Future Us by Jeff aka Ruthie Utnage

Ever feel like you are actively failing? I do. When I eat to much everything else spins out of control for me. During the holidays my friends wanted to be nice and gave me three grocery bags full of sweets. So I have been eating and eating. I've gained 20 pounds and now my self-image consumes me.

Thank God for the future. If I hadn't already lost 100 pounds and kept it off for 7 years I wouldn't know what to do, or that I had enough strength to do it. That's why we have to believe in our future selves as well as who we are right now.

We may be going through all kinds of challenges, life is happening faster and faster. But we can handle it. It may not seem like it at the moment but I am asking for trust, put one foot in front of the other and start moving and before you know we will have travelled together. Its going to be OK.

Putting on weight is a phobia of mine, my eating has completely trashed my positive self imagery, I hate my body. When you throw in that I hate my masculinity and I feel morbidly obese, we have a recipe for a serious mental breakdown. But I am making a commitment, not to you, but to me.

I commit to not eat after 6.

To control my fatty food intake by getting rid of the things that are bad for me.

I will work out 5 days a week, even if I am to busy

I will pluck facial hair everyday

I won't accept any unhealthy foods as gifts

I will put one foot in front of the other.

What are your commitments to yourself? What do you promise to do now that your future self will thank you for?

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With Love
Jeff aka Ruthie Utnage
www.lgbtqprisonsupport.com

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