Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Dating Inside Prison

As someone with same-sex attraction I find the dating scene in prison particularly interesting. First, let's separate dating and hook-ups. Both occur, dating is more than sex whereas hook ups are solely about sex.

Prison dating is weird. Because everything in prison is amplified, everything. If you love you are madly in love, depressed is deep depression, hate is lethal hate. One person ignores you than its the whole world (I can hear my friends and family chuckling here, I am SO guilty of this). Nothing is in moderation. This is largely because we are in a very unnatural setting adapting to very unnatural circumstances and required to act naturally during the process. This can throw things off a bit internally.

Dating is no exception. Break ups are quiet and fairly modest, affection is limited to exaggerated body language, letters, and walking in circles. But this happens with regular friends all the time. It is really hard to differentiate friend from lover when you must act the same towards both.

I have developed the position, through experience and witness, that relationships between inmates is unhealthy because of prison rules preventing it, not because its not a good idea. We spend a lot of time with the same people and its hard to not develop personal connections, but the same connection I have with a really good friend is the limit we have for a potential partner. For this reason, and for this reason alone, prisoner to prisoner relationships are not good. If it ever becomes legal to be gay in prison, my position would change.

I believe in love anywhere though. I believe that love is border less and does not comprehend rules. So while I don't think its a good idea to go looking for your soul mate in the cell next door, who am I to say its not possible? Between you and me, I would wait until I can kiss my man in public without fear. But that's just me.

With Love
Jeff Jeffebelle

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