I want to help people in a meaningful way so my life was not wasted, so that the few people who do contact me will not be made to feel foolish for doing so.
As I go through the throes of depression and isolation anxiety I have to find reason for it all, purpose. This last bout lasted four days, and it is not quite done, I am still upset. 326 million people in this country and I do not have one friend I can call, really...not one?
Here's the upside. When I get through this, and I will, I will be uniquely prepared to help others through this process. Sort of, 'talk them off the ledge' kind of thing. That way when someone is feeling like there ain't a soul who cares if they live or die, I will. Because I do care. Because nobody should ever feel the way I feel right now, it does not matter what I have done.
I will be positioned perfectly to help others.