Wednesday, January 31, 2018

What Do You Do If Your Gay (or Lesbian or Transgendered or Bisexual) and married?

If your married and have recently come to terms with your own sexuality or gender identity telling your spouse can be a real heartache. Unfortunately, there is no easy, one size fits all answer, but perhaps I can provide some direction.

First you have to know what you want the expected outcome to be. Is it just to tell them to relieve a burden internally? Do you want to try throupling? Do you want to start transitioning and remain married? 

Second, don't assume how your spouse feels. Many times we are creatures of habit and simply react how we have seen others react. There is no rule book for how love works. If you still love your spouse but have same sex attractions, there's no rule that states divorce must follow. That decision is you and your partners alone. 

Third, tell them privately. Don't throw a party and tell them in front of a bunch of people. When you tell them, expect questions like "Now what?" This is where the expectation of your ideal outcome comes into play, let them know what you want. 

There is so much to consider and no cookie cutter answers. Perhaps the most important aspect of this is sensitivity to you AND your partners feelings. 

Whatever it is you decide, be nice and do it with care. 

With Love

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Feeding On Broken Hearts: The Ice Queen Cometh

This is for all my gurls, my queens, my princesses, and femmes. 

How many men have tried to tame our hearts? Settle our minds between their palms, expecting submission. Not just ciswomen experience this anymore. Now gay and bi men, drag queens, and trans folk everywhere have become the prey of masculine conquest. Our predecessors were raised on secret rendezvous, extramarital agendas, and the fallacy that they were responsible for another's desires.

However, ladies and gents, like anything hot - touch fire and you will get burned. 

Men should learn their lesson or chalk up their scars to the games they play. The quicker they come the less of a problem I have making them fall. I don't even catch and release ladies, I break their heart without even letting them surface for air.

God forbid a man take the time to stimulate us like human beings. 

Stand on your icy has been earned.

With Love
Jeff "Jeffebelle" 

Conform or be destroyed - By James Goodwin

conform or be destroyed. this is the ultimatum of the puppets and puppet masters alike.

this is gender, this is how one behaves, dresses and acts. fit in, knuckle under and question not.

there is this ever present sense of the end of all things that lurks within us all, the fear of our immanent demise. we create, we love, we party, screw and fight and all the while annihilation is writhing beneath our skin. for some of us there is no ignoring this, no retreat to the fox hole of hypocrisy. so we say f-it it, all we do is done in defiance of this self inflicted illusion of existence, of permanence. this is why we do not fit with the collective, corporate, hypnosis that shapes the dreamscape of our present society.

fear of our cessation drives the heartless to the safety of labels, to cut and paste a comfortable lie upon everything and everyone .

to reject these labels of acceptable expression is to become a target. 

to refuse to conform to the standard of sexuality gender race and class is to open yourself up to retaliation, sometimes this abuse is state sanctioned. often even.

yet we carry on defiant and doomed.

transcending all labels. finding beauty even in our inevitable dissolution.

when you carry the Apocalypse in your veins everything you do had the after taste of decay, as for me, with this I am okay.

Monday, January 29, 2018

Quilting Therapeutically

I am almost 36 years old, grew up on the banks of the Missouri river surrounded by bikers and anger. Masculinity was very defined and deviation meant...well, nobody knew because you just didn't do it. I am in prison, a soft one (thankfully) and I've made yet another delightful discovery, quilting.

I'm not very good yet, but as the fabric pinches and pulls under the needle my cares seem to transfer from my heart to each stitch. I am relaxed, It just feels natural to handle fabrics, choose thread and bobbin colors, the process is very soothing.

I recommend that every man learns to quilt.

With Love
Jeff "Jeffebelle"

Sunday, January 28, 2018

The Downsides of Getting Educated (and Taking it Seriously!)

I remember as a little boy my Mother and I would drive from our newest apartment in Eastern Nebraska to my aunt and uncles latest farmhouse somewhere in Western Iowa. We were all just one step above vagabonds. I was an intelligent child, far beyond my actual age. 

The first novel I read was John Grisham's, "A Time To Kill", because I had forgotten to bring toys on our customary weekend trip. It sat in the rear window of my Moms car, I had just turned eight.

The pages turned fast before me and I was excited to share my newest discovery of novels with my extended family. But instead of the interest and acceptance of my latest entry into early adulthood that I expected, they challenged my ability to grasp the content. It was a severe blow to my ego.

The lesson was clear though, education was for smart people, not me. My Mother tried to counteract this instinctively, but there wasn't much she could do even if she knew exactly how I felt, which I rarely shared truthfully. 

Here and now as a middle age adult I am just now confident enough to admit that I was intelligent as a child. This while I'm currently enrolled in college, working towards my Associates Degree. But my past haunts me as I run into people who fit my learned criteria of what smart is and I meet my own, sometimes crippling, insecurities. I realize that I have a sensitive ego and fickle sense of self. 

The more I learn the more I realize how little I know and how far behind I am. None if this is even the intended downside of education I was thinking of to begin with. But since we are on the topic, originally I was thinking of how the more you know the more you get opened up to. The world seems so big now. Before I was just some sexually confused country bumpkin in prison. Now I see that I am just so small in this big ole world and my big goals are being framed, and limited, by the knowledge of others.

Furthermore, now that I can understand a little more on how the world works I have a difficult time interacting with those who don't. Not the dreamers, but the obstinant authority of the marginalized. Its not just the world that makes me feel small, its the imposing structures and the evilness they were built from that does it.

With Love

Saturday, January 27, 2018

Clearly Defining Relationships: Being Genuine Upfront (What A Concept!)

What if you could tell someone "I just want to talk to you long enough to feel more confident, then be on my way." 

Furthermore, what if the other person would be totally okay with that? 

I run into folks who write me once, maybe twice before moving on their way for whatever reason. But, I would rather have people tell me "My ego was just shattered and talking to you for a few weeks makes me feel better." Or whatever the reasons may be. For me, I understand honesty and pride myself in tolerance. More to the point, I like to help people, what a better way than to help someone feel better about themselves!! Nothing would make me happier! 

This requires boldness and a measure of vulnerability on your part though. 

What this really solves is expectations of both parties. I have spent more attention on this as of late, it started as a means to protect my apparently fragile self esteem. I tell you what though, I feel more confident knowing exactly what I want, what's expected of me, and what the goal of my relationships may entail (how can I help you really? Which is of utmost importance to me)

Practice on me. Let's be confident together!

With Love
Jeff "Jeffebelle" 

Thursday, January 25, 2018

Marco Rubio Cites Immigration Activists as Reason For Government Shutdown

Activism rarely gets national attention and when it does its to make the all powerful government look better and the activist group maniacal. However, in this case, on 1/20/2018 while speaking from the Senate floor, just after 7p.m. EST, Senator Marco Rubio blames immigration activists for putting immense pressure on Senator Charles Schumer, blaming them for the shutdown.

I have a few things to say about this:

1) Activists, its time to go harder! This is where you've been the most effective and its time to ramp up your efforts. Get your constituency active! 

2) Good Job Dreamers! 

3) Democrat and Republican officials better understand that it is not they who support the people, but the people who support them. There are but a few of them and we out number Senators nearly 1,000,000:1. They would do well to remember that the government was built for the people and not the people built for the government.

4) Neither side is to blame (side meaning Democrat or Republican), your both ridiculously to blame. Drawing hard lines, pretending to represent the people when the only thing any of you represent is your career. Your nothing better then gang members, who do the same thing: selfishly climb the ranks.

Activists: Here's where you shine

With Love

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

One Of Us By: James Goodwin

Not since I first read the writings of Emma Goldman, like in "Anarchism and Other Essays", have I been so moved in the wake of an other's words. As I find myself now moved by Patrisse Cullors in "Policing The Planet: Why The Policing Crisis Led To Black Lives Matter".

As I child I was taken by the state to be raised in a "safe" environment. After years of abuse, isolation, and physical as well as chemical restraint my self-esteem was crippled.

By the time I had run away, in preference of living homeless and hungry to being smothered beneath the jack-boot of state authority, I was a hateful, distrusting, crime-spree waiting to happen.

This is a common story written in the lives of children raised by the "all wise" state. An entity whose authority is born from racism and the marketing of despair in all its forms. The corrupting influence of this evil empire is monumental.

Growing up in state care I often noticed how many more black and brown children there were than whites. I now know that it is because these children are statistically far more likely to be removed from their homes than their white counterparts who may be living in the same or worse conditions. Just as they are far more likely to be shot down in the street, the very color of their skin having become a criminal offense.

These and other realities have often caused me to ask why do we even need the state? and Why do we pursue dialogue with those who represent state interests? What point is there in seeking dialogue with a machine which is incapable of speaking our language? For our language is truth, and this system cannot exist side by side with the truth, nor can it allow truth to prosper among those it seeks to dis-empower and exploit.

The state is despair incarnate. It is enslavement finding form in the mechanized gears for a tyrannical system.

Why am I certain it cannot be trusted or reasoned with?

Because it has systematically, indeed, it has unionized non-accountability for itself and its cries while inflicting over-accountability on others. It makes its very living off the victimization of the community as it seeks to create the perpetuation of crime.

When it stands up and declares the truth about itself, taking accountability for its murders, rapes, and thefts for its corrupt practises of systematized racism, sexism, classicism, for its devaluation of the feminine and the LGBT. Then, and only then, will I hold in my heart something besides hatred and contempt for it and those who seek its prosperity.

This vile and toxic is fueled by our compromise, there must be no compromise. Let our speech be for those with the capacity to listen. The state is deaf and unworthy of our breath.

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Friend After Friend By Jeff Utnage

Friend after friend,
Get to know me
The They that I am,
Not the man I once was.

To no avail, I see,
I bid you farewell,
Friend after friend.

No words need be said,
I understand the language of the back.
I will sit here yet again,
Friend after friend.

I talk and joke as friends might do,
The They that I am,
Likes the They in you,
Friend after friend!

The man I once was,
Rears his ugly head,
The joviality suddenly worrisome,
Friend after friend.

I am no longer that man,
But a reborn They.
Proud of my change,
Friend after friend.

It must be hard for you, 
Always in the past.
Being perfect looks hard,
Friend after friend.

I bid you farewell, goodbye, adios!
I leave you with my love,
For I have an abundant supply,
Friend after friend, goodbye.

My Friends Dress By James Goodwin

My friends wants to wear a dress. This is the desire of his heart. Surrounded by judgment. Afflicted by bigotry and hate. He celebrates this desire.

It is in his speech and in his movements. In the way he breathes and smiles. As if the dress is much more than cloth and fashion, but an expression of something far deeper, perfect and pure.

Someday my friend will be free. His dress a reality, and yet, I can't help but feel that the dress he wears now is far more perfect, beautiful and fabulous than one we could see.

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Ending Racism, From A Gay White Perspective!

I am white. I am gay. I am gender queer. I am also against racism. But I wasn't much concerned with it until I experienced homophobia and hatred as an out and proud queer.

While homophobia and racism are not precisely the same, there are many similarities. Enough so that I finally had an awakening to continued racism and how if I say nothing, I am just as guilty.

The problem is many white folks I have spoken to don't feel comfortable having conversations about race. Mainly because in most folks minds, racism ended a few decades after desegregation. An idea that is 100% false.

Here is a short list (just a few examples, it by no means indicates there aren't more effective ways to end racism) of what we as the white community can do to help end the racial divide:

1) Educate yourself. Read blogs, books, listen to perspective. 
2) Socialize. We tend to gravitate to familiarity. Step out of your comfort zone.
3) Volunteer. Ask local organizations where you could be of use . Non profits and social movements need all kinds of skills and resources! Extra hands are almost ALWAYS needed. 
4) Be open to being wrong. Many of us were unknowingly taught things that have been unknowingly passed down generation ally. While hard to swallow, sometimes change involves bitter realizations. 
5) Shut down racist remarks. No need to speak on any ones behalf, but, let people know that YOU are uncomfortable with racism, even jokingly or passively. 
6) Be sensitive to many people of color have directly experienced racism and it hurts. Sensitivity to this is extremely important to change. Be aware of what you say, and ultimately, what you think.

If you have more to add, please comment! Share the knowledge! 

With Love

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

The Greatness Expectancy

Early in my prison sentence I concluded that I hated the man I was. I hated what I had done, why I did it, what it cost me, and how deep into the community it went. It happened years ago and there are still consequences happening that stem from my selfishness. That wanted change hasn't been forgotten or forsaken.

Now that I'm nearly 7 years into my sentence I've had a chance to root out some negative characteristics, develop a whole new set of life skills, and become the person I wanted to be. 

The very best me came from my worst decision. 

I have a new outlook on life. I expect greatness. Nothing is impossible for me. I only associate with people who dream big and brazen enough to get things done. Often we define our limits, while mine used to be easy to hit, now they're nonexistent. 

What's more is my circle of associates are all birthed in the same way, their best them was derived from their worst actions. 

We were shamed and humiliated,
We have been oppressed and hated.
We are now humble and experienced,
We now know what liberation means.

My kind of people are not rare, but plentiful. Diligently hidden under poverty and division, judgment and shame, servitude and disparity. 

Expect greatness and settle for nothing short. Savagely pursue it until you are exhausted, then get up and begin again and again and again. When you are weary and can get up no more, then crawl over the bodies of those who have given up taking what you must but leaving what you can.

With Love

Monday, January 15, 2018

The Color Of Our Voices By James Goodwin

We have allowed systems to fool us into being our own en slavers. We break ourselves with judgments and shame. We tell ourselves terrible lies. Taking illusion for reality we say we are ugly, no good, or simply not good enough. Not good enough to be loved, to be beautiful, to become better than our worst moment in the past.

The idea that one must forever be nothing more than the worst thing they have ever done serves only those who seek the oppression and exploitation of others.

A system whose narrative propels this type of propaganda is an evil, tyrannical power of enslavement and destructiveness.

In the same kind of system which would perpetuate the victimization of society by crippling the rehabilitative process under the guise of " Working Together For Safer Communities" in the never ending quest for profit at the expense of others. One whose power is dependent upon the dis empowerment of others.

It is the same system whose foundations are laid upon the bones of the murdered and the enslaved. A system whose flag is colored by the blood flowing out of genocide of an indigenous people and the enslavement of another.

It has exploited the worker, devalued the feminine, and limited us in every way. Deceiving us into becoming the instruments of our own destruction as a result of our acceptance of labels, classifications, and values of a representative system which represents none of us. 

It is time for an inward revolution, an individual revolt. It is time for each of us to tear down the walls which we have erected inside our own selves. Erase the borders we have drawn around that territory over which we are each of us sovereign. The territory of the heart in each of us. When this inner rebellion achieves its inevitable victory, we must let our voices ring out.

What is the value and power of a voice? Please allow me to lace you up.

Voices are souls finding release from borders, self imposed or inflicted. We are voices, clean and pure, finding our closeness with one another.

Unchained and unbound,
Unashamed by difference,
Proud of uniqueness.

Voices are undefined, sexless, and stateless. One cannot color a voice with the limiting gradients of race. 

Tell me, what color is my voice? Does it matter to you?

Voices are beautiful, without scars. They rise above all our pain to find space to breathe, to run free, embracing all the world.

Stars shine for our voices and hearts beat in anticipation of them.
I love your voice.
It is you.

Thursday, January 11, 2018

My Current Ability To Contribute To The Community: It Just Requires You!

Prison is a womb or a tomb. I can lay here and learn to die or I can learn to live. Since I've tried the whole death thing, I'd rather learn to live. I came to this conclusion years ago and I have grown so much as a result.

Besides the fact that I love people, a result of the womb, I don't believe I can love without action or at least attempted action. This is that attempt again or rather, still.

I am rather passionate about ending violence in our communities. Not just LGBT communities, all communities. I aim to bolster the effectiveness of community organizations already in place. But my ability goes deeper than that. Helping an organization is already a structured element. You could, for instance:
1. Volunteer skills (like fundraising, accounting, organizing)
2. Donate funds or materials or other assets 
3. Get them media attention (perhaps the most valuable donation to an organization is publicity)

This is by no means an exhaustive list, its just a quick and short example. I can help organizations develop strategy to get these things, and at no cost to them. If you want to hear me out, feel free to contact.

My ability goes deeper though. Not only can I help organizations be more effective, I can help the populace (you) be more engaged in movements you might not know how you fit into. Here's a few examples:

1. Prison reform
2. Immigration reform
3. Racial injustice
4. Police brutality

Just to name a minuscule amount. I can help you find ways to engage and support these movements in real tangible ways that are meaningful.

Most people want to help but don't know how. I can help in that regard. 

Its a small way in which I can give back to the community until I release. Hit me up.

With Love

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

When Structure Limits Progress and Human Kindness

The last five years of my life have been dedicated to prison based LGBT peer support systems. I have become directly associated with the acronym of LGBT within prison walls (me and a few others). Now that most major long term custody prisons in Washington State have LGBT peer support systems of some form they have become like everything else in prison, stifling and oppressive.

While the volunteer and guests are welcomed and appreciated the restrictions and limits placed on them and ultimately the LGBT community makes it impossible to open up. As someone who successfully navigated the bureaucracy and political nonsense of DOC in other facilities the original purpose of the peer support system has been altered to accommodate simple labels. 

We are recognized as existing within the confines of prison walls now and what was supposed to be a way to educate one another in safety and mentored guidance has become anything but.

As a mentor I take that personally because I care about my community both in and out of prison. In here my peers are hurting now more than ever and out there its no different. I have had to take a close look at myself and evaluate my role as a friend and mentor asking myself hard questions like "Where did I go wrong?" 

However, I have had to realize its not me, its the governing structure. As LGBT people we are consistently muzzled and threatened that we cannot talk about many things without launching an investigation that will more often than not result in major social consequences, if not a full on assault. How can we offer one another advice, comfort, mentor ship, and social navigation if we can't even freely talk? 

This is just status quo though. Its not new or unique to the LGBT community. This is a systemic success, intentionally put in place and enforced by a community that is still in mourning. Instead of prisoners being viewed as a group of people that need rehabilitation we are the enemy that deserves abuse. Its OK to muzzle us, to cause emotional trauma because we are us and they are them. Because despite the fact that as an inmate I have not assaulted anyone in authority, nor will I ever, I am still treated as the assailant and accessory to viciousness I had no part of.

Not only does this structure limit my rehabilitation it has also stripped bare my ability as a friend to be human. For this reason I no longer attend LGBT peer support groups. Despite needing unique help as the highest likelihood of abuse in all forms, we are the enemy and as of late, hated more now than ever.

With Love

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

So You Think You Might Be Gay (or Lesbian or Bisexual): What Now?

This is for all those folks who wonder how normal or abnormal it is to think about the same sex and what you should or shouldn't do about it.

First of all, just because you think about the same sex sexually doesn't mean your gay, lesbian or bisexual. It just means you've thought about it, like most folks. Now, I don't have hard empirical data to quote, but that's only because I'm in here and Internet research is hard to do without the Internet. So if you want to see a study, Google it, I'll wait...

However, if its a repeated thought that comes in frequently and your just scared or nervous to act on it, this too is normal. You also may just be curious and that, too, is normal...are we waiting for you to Google that as well? 

Let's suppose that you are in fact bisexual. If you said it out loud there won't be a lightning bolt to smite you. Admitting it may just be liberation for you and now your dating pool just doubled. Yay!! Options baby!

Now what? If you have determined that your gay/lesbian or bisexual (which ONLY you can do) the next step is really mysterious. Ready for it??? Brace yourself folks...

The next step is...nothing. Nothing changes. Guess what, your still you baby, in all your glorious splendor, your still perfect. Shocker, I know. Your still the professional or the blue collar worker or the soccer mom or the devoted Christian/Muslim. 

Coming out is only hard because of fears of judgment. But you don't have to make an announcement to the Seattle Times or the company bulletin board you enjoy the same sex. The only one who needs to fully know is you.

Now if your married or if you suspect your spouse may be gay, bi, or trans. I'll be posting soon with advice on how to proceed! Check back often!

With Love

Monday, January 8, 2018

Being The Center of Someones Universe: Explanation of the Unhealthy

This guy was hitting on me the other day and one of his lines were "Your the center of my universe." It's not the first time I've heard this, nor will it be the last. It irks me a little when I hear this statement and similar metaphors. 

When someone makes a statement implying that they revolve around you (your the center of their universe) it means, metaphorically, that you are the sun (the strongest gravitational pull around and in control) and they are the planets (and subsequently weaker, submissive and at your will). In this context its quite odd that someone would give up control of their entire being to another human. Unless its for the purposes of role play or a particular lifestyle. We aren't talking about that though.

In cases like these the one speaking these ridiculous pick up lines is clearly smitten at an unusual level. The relationship can never be equal when it begins with one person having near total control. So when the smitten person realizes the other is mere flesh and blood and not a god the struggle to take back self-control will most likely follow. This is just one angle to this, there are more.

If you look at planets that revolve around a sun there are many, some closer than others. While one side is warm and bright the other is dark and cold. Which translates to the sun can never bring life to all of a planet, it must do it in sections. One side will must suffer and concede to another.

If you relate that to dynamic human emotions we have a recipe for a very unhealthy relationship. 

I can't speak for anyone else, but as for me, if I find a "planet" orbiting within my gravitational pull...I'm going to consume it for more energy and when I'm done the planet will not survive.

Still want to make me the "center of your universe?"

With Love

Thursday, January 4, 2018

How A Company Can Be Non Racist or Discriminatory In Practice: Short List

1. Don't ask for race, gender, orientation, or religious practises. 

2. Don't create gender specific dress codes, maintain professional standards by allowing the same clothing to worn by any and all as still professional. (e.g. a dress on a professional woman is still as professional on a man)

3. Don't require education for management. Instead, hire those who have the character desired and work to provide education necessary.

4. Equal pay. Period. The position pays what it pays. Women, men, black, white straight or trans. Make an effort to ensure that pay is equitable across the field. 

Of course there are other things to adopt. But this is a quick start to diversifying your management and overall workforce using equality. It may be scary at first, but in the long run it will lead to other practises that are beneficial toward workplace diversity and equality.

With Love

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Destined For A Great Cause Or Simply Bored: A Self Reflection While Uninspired

At the moment I am sitting in my prison cell under a pink sheet and light blue fleece blanket. I call it my perch because I am on the top bunk, usually nestled in. Its my temporary safety spot. In this little nest of mine I stare out my window and let my mind race. 

My mind seems to not shut off. Maybe I have a lot on my mind, maybe its eating carbs to late, I haven't decided which. I think about my goals and current projects and mostly try to convince myself I should keep trying to get them done. There's just one problem, nobody truly believes in me but me.

I say that with careful thought. To say you believe in someones cause is easy. Yeah, wanting to end human caused violence is a worthy cause, check. Almost nobody disagrees with that. But true belief is action based. 

So I've spent years developing a plan, now I'm closer than ever before to a real solution. I have a plan that can make a significant differences in the lives of the community. I have a few people to talk to about it, only one who can actually help (by sending in articles and books to not only educate me but to sometimes challenge me, thank you!), and besides that one person sending me educational materials its just me. There's nobody to even talk to about it, let alone help.

This leaves me in my little perch thinking about the realities of my situation. I seem to be the only one who actually believes in me. Now, either I'm delusional, just plain stupid, or a visionary. 

Okay, maybe that's too narrow minded, but that's what I'm contemplating at this very moment. Whether or not I believe in me enough to continue on alone. I could easily just concentrate on less humanitarian based causes and release from prison, find a job, go to college. Be a normal person. Nobody would really care, well, they'd care as much as they do right now. Silently and seemingly impatiently waiting for me to simply stop talking so they can move on without being rude. 

Nobody would really blame me if I did that. Nobody except me. I don't know how else to makeup for my crime, which I can never do, but I know what led me to do it and I can prevent others from doing it. Except, nobody seems to be to terribly interested in that. Weird.

Perhaps I trudge on despite my isolation because I'm destined to make a real impact. Maybe I'm just bored with to much time on my hands. Only time will tell. I'd ask for advice, but everyone stays silent. I got the hint, be quiet, stay in prison, do you. We'll see...

With Love

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Gender Non Conformity: A Realistic Explanation For Everyone Else

Gender Non Conformity is also known as Gender Fluid or Gender Queer. Gender Non Conformity is going outside traditionally binary gender beliefs, Male/Female and seeing gender as a spectrum or not limited to genitalia.

Gender Non Conformity is a way for those of us who aren't entirely masculine or feminine to also be normal people. Its not a way to be uniquely identified because of some label. Its a way to be included into society as we are bringing our unique flavor of humanity to the table as also "normative."

It solves the problem of being just fine with your genitalia and body assignment but also recognizing that you may have traits of the opposite sex and that they should be embraced and not hidden or repressed. That the boxes of Male or Female do not represent you as you are. That you are some combination a third gender or fourth or on some sort of sliding scale. 

Of course there are nuanced differences in some other definitions. But, here is a simple one, hope it helps!

With Love

Monday, January 1, 2018

Impossible: An Essay

Impossible is something that cannot be done. Like putting the universe on the head of a needle or fitting 1,000,000 people into a single phone booth of normal size. Impossible.

Impossible, like a large mass of rock mysteriously holding water upside down while spinning around a giant orb of fire all the while staying on a very thin line. Impossible like sling-shotting around the moon in a tube of metals and plastics and making it back to Earth safely. Impossible.

Impossible like surviving a jump from Niagara Falls or a mother lifting a truck from off her trapped child. Impossible like a women living with gorillas or a straight man falling in love with a women who was born with male genitalia. All of which is Impossible.

Impossible like one person changing the world or a simple speech impacting people 200 years later. Impossible like two-ton stones in the desert stacked high with big expansive rooms built within. Impossible like people travelling through the air at 500 miles per hour or sitting in a carbon fiber shell travelling 60 miles per hour on land. Yeah, impossible.

Impossible like conversations taking place from opposite ends of the earth instantaneously. Impossible like that?

I'm possible. Your possible. This is not meant to simply be read and forgotten. This serves as a reminder of a time in all our lives when we were going to do something great in our lives. 

Impossible is not just a word, it is a medical condition that needs to be cured. It is a disease and a form of oppression perpetuated by those who tried something and failed. Cured by perseverance and independence and those that dared to try anyway. Cured by defiance. 

When someone tells you that your goal is impossible and to be more realistic, remind yourself that its only impossible for those that did not act defiantly.

Spread hope. Nothing is impossible.

With Love