Monday, July 24, 2017

Tackling Life

As a child I do not remember having many "heroes." At least none that were real or worth following. My first real "hero" was Patrick Swayze...I can hear you judging me...

Surprisingly, it wasn't Roadhouse or Dirty Dancing that really solidified him as a hero for me, it was "To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar." By far one of the most influential movies in my life. 

The character he played was strong, mentally and physically. Yet, gay. He had the tenacity to face life on its level and I appreciated that. Too bad I wasn't strong enough to emulate it sooner.

I was conflicted at that age because in real life those ideas weren't accepted. There was a way of thinking in place and you didn't challenge it. You accepted it and moved on, submitting to whoever. But in my mind I wanted to be more like the character I idolized; fiercely independent, self assured, able to change the atmosphere of a room.

Now I get it. When we accept ourselves, people notice. Mainly because there are so many who don't accept themselves. When we are sure of what we believe it, why we believe in it then others begin to believe in you too. 

I am taking that to the bank. I have a life sentence, in order to get out I must face a parole board, it is up to a panel of people who do not know me to decide if I should get out or not. Very scary. However, I must depend on myself to present myself to them. To win at life you must first believe you can win. Secondly, you must act like a winner. 

I have many goals. Some will work out, some won't. Some are unrealistic, some are vastly understated. All are worthy of my heart. Worth me tackling.

Do you know why I will get paroled? Because I do not accept the man that I once was, because I will positively effect the world and I cannot effectively do it from in here. I can start the process now, but to be the person I know I can be, I will need to be out. 

I haven't given up on me, on life. You shouldn't either.

With Love
Jeff 

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