Thursday, June 15, 2017

Label Me All You Want, Just Make Sure Its The Right One

I do not mind labels when they are correct and true. Label me all you want, just make sure it is the right one. 

I am adopted and when I came to prison my birth mother called me narcissistic and selfish. I disagreed. Narcissistic means you gain pleasure from your own image, or, you turn yourself on. In your mind there is none more impressive than yourself. This is not true of me. 

I argued this with her only briefly, after I sent her the definition of narcissism. She said that my crime could not be committed without narcissism. Again, I disagreed. Ultimately, it cost me my relationship with her. I told her she can call me whatever label she wants, selfish, self serving, monstrous, ugly, repulsive, criminal, a let down, shameful...whatever. Just make sure its true.

The same goes today. I do not regret losing that relationship because of labels. That's not why it crumbled anyway. It crumbled because of her own guilt. I would still defend that today, the labeling that is. I will lose friends, family, everything over it still. I know what brought me here and it wasn't self admiration. It was self pity, selfishness...disgust and a moral thought process clouded by stress and shame. 

This same thought process comes to mind with LGBT labels. Labels are only necessary to identify one another for support purposes. If a person needs particularly unique advice, they want to make sure the person giving it is in the know. A label is important in that context. 
Label me all you want, just make sure you know what your correct or I will absolutely challenge it. So should you.

With Love
Jeff Utnage

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